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Saturday, August 11:

So, of course I've been dreading this day for quite a bit. Thing is, I spent Friday in a mood mixed of depression and a streak of being moody. Nothing had been going right the entire day before my Birthday. I didn't even have the heart to really get online and chat it up with friends like I normally do.

I just hate getting older. I hate when people feel they need to do something for me on that day. They don't. All I want is just to be with family- that's it.

On a funny note, I did manage to go to Borders and order me one DVD, using some of my money. This was "a birthday present" to myself. While at Borders I saw Hako and her friend. God, I was so happy to see her again. I thought I never would. She is one of the friends I'm afraid to loose. I've got to get her a Moleskin notebook somehow...

Anyway, I digress. I went to bed and woke up pretty early. My age ticked over from 18 to 19 at about 2:42 AM... or... something like that.

The beginning outlook was horrible. I shuffled sleepily into the living room, where my mom sat at the computer playing Neopets.

"Good morning, Honey. Happy Birthday!"

"Meh..."

"How does it feel to be the big ol' 19?"

"Mmphf.... I don't feel older...."

And that, I should have taken, as a sign that this birthday was going to be a bit strange. Although, it had one element I had hoped for: Silence. I hate it when people make a big deal about something like my birthday. I don't know, I just get nervous. I feel like I'm going to let someone down.

Anyway, the day started out horrible. And when I mean that, I mean, absolutely horrible. I sat around doing nothing. I got a happy Birthday call from my friend Jen and my aunt (I had gone up to Chicago a few days ago, if you recall). Her gesture of kindness was a bit shocking, I must admit. She never thinks of anyone but herself. ...Seriously. And she's very cruel. She doesn't really show her caring for the family unless it's for her benefit.

My day started picking up when Michael called me. No matter what mood I'm in, or what's happening in my chaotic life- when he calls me, it cheers me up to no end. It's like a little ray of hope that blasts through my foggy clouds obscuring my life. We talked for quite a bit, laughing at our jokes and everything. Teen Night's coming up so we're extremely excited for that. That's the only time that we can actually be ourselves. Both Michael and I work, and our work sucks away our social life like booze or something. We hardly have any hours to do whatever. Eh, that's life, isn't it? s**t...

After Michael's call mom presented me with my first gift. Dad, a giddy, boyish grin on his face, gave me a Borders bag and card. The envelope had "To our spoiled Angel" on it.

"Great. I'm spoiled then?"

" *laughs* Just open it. We think you'll like it."

I did. The card is friggin' funny. Dad has a knack for finding stuff fitting to my twisted sense of humor. And the Borders bag (best wrapping ever!!) had the movie Hot Fuzz in it. I nearly died. Totally, this day was looking up a bit.

I had to go to work at 3:30. I never told anyone at work it was my Birthday before hand, and I kept it that way. My manager, apparently, found out the day before but she wouldn't return to work for two days due to the Rascal Flatts concert (lucky stiff!). Deep inside, I felt depressed when I was at work. I was scared to death someone I knew was going to barge in and start singing "Happy Birthday" as I rung up the constant barrage of canned meat and pounds of dog food. After a while though... I can't really explain it. I got high. I got happy. Something in me switched over from depression to true happiness.

One woman, I'll never forget her- for this was the greatest work gift I've ever gotten- went up to me and said, "I'm glad you're working here. I heard they were hiring and I thought they'd get some sour teenager. Everyone around here is so happy, the atmosphere so peaceful... the store is so clean! Thank you for working here!"

That, gentleman and ladies, made my day. It didn't even dour my mood when the last four minutes of my work EVERYTHING POSSIBLE IN EVERY SITUATION WENT WRONG. eek And I had no help what so ever. After everyone had gone, and the chaos was averted, I stood back. It took me ten seconds, and then I busted out laughing. My manager thought I was insane or something, I'm sure.

I got home, and my parents were going to take me out to dinner. Camp Washington Chili. All you people out there that heard Ohio is famous for Skyline? Hell, no. It's time ya'll had some TRUE Chili. This stuff is nationally known and has been featured in god knows how many food series and such. The stuff is a godsend. Skyline is nothing but brown water compared to the stuff they churn out. Oh, and did I mention after ordering your food comes to you in no less then two minutes? Yeah. It's that good.

Before I went to eat, though, Bill wanted me over his house. He had wanted to take me out for dinner ("Julia's idea".) and I felt bad for saying no. I told them I'm going to take that offer up, and I will. I have to send him what days I'm off. Anyway, it's odd. Bill, in my history of being alive and knowing him, has never celebrated a Birthday. He considers it a commercial trap (which, in all retrospect, is most likely true). Anyway, after offering him what organic tomatoes I had grown (summer was complete s**t to them), he ushered me into the living room.

Julia, his girlfriend, was there. She's beautiful in every way- from her smile to her humor. Bill adopted a grin similar to Dad's before.

"Close your eyes."

"...Oooh no. Wait, knowing you-"

"Cloooose your eyes." The grin widens.

I close my eyes. I can feel his aura- he's standing in front of me.

"Hold out your hands."

"...It's going to be slimy, isn't it?! Knowing you... *laughs*" I feel something in my hands. It's...flexible?

"Squeeeeeeze."

I do. "Harder". I do. "Hold that squeeze and then let go quickly."

BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWGHHHHK.....

"What the hell!?" I looked down in my hands, and nearly died laughing. There was a rubber squeaky dog toy chicken. It's best described as a hot, slutty housewife female chicken in a purple bikini, lipstick, earrings and what not. What do I sum it up as? THE BEST. BIRTHDAY. GIFT. EVER. PERIOD!!!

heart Peace out, ya'll! heart