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	S e e W h a t s I n s i d e What's inside of that person you love so much? Why are you attracted to them? ... Don't let them escape. Hold them until the break of dawn.

	Le Sigh.
	Le Sigh.


A half a cup Satanical, a teaspoon Puritanical, Stirred with a bloody hand A quarter cup Messiahcal, a sprinkle of Maniacal And now I’m a Mechanical Man Okay. My moods couldn't be any worse. I'm not even supposed to know this, but one of my best friends has terminal cancer. She probably doesn't have long to live. I was sobbing earlier, but I'm a bit better now. Then, I log onto Gaia. Read my comments. Wow. So much hatred. Never thought anybody could b*h at me so much. Never thought I could cry so much from reading words. That one chick [DeathNoteGuru] made me sob. I'm barely recovering from that right now. I blocked her and deleted all her comments. I sent a PM to her explaining everything I'm going through. My family is breaking apart. My friends are dying all around me. My life is falling to pieces. But somehow, I manage to smile everyday. I manage to pull a fake-smile that gets everybody believing that I'm alright. But I'm not. Nobody understands what I'm going through. I don't really feel like talking now. These past two weeks have been nothing but living Hell for me. I just wish September would end as soon as possible. It's never a very good month for me. Every one of my friends who have died, have died in September. Not even kidding. But, whatever. I can't change the past. I can't stop all the drunk drivers. I can't stop my ex-fionce from killing himself. st happens, people die, and life goes on. There's nothing anybody can do about it. I probably won't post for a long time. I'm so depressed... I don't know what I'm going to do if my friend dies... P.S. In my last journal entry, I wasn't referring to anybody on Gaia calling me an "emo", "b*h", or a "slut." ♥ CaRto0nz** · Fri Sep 14, 2007 @ 03:21am · 4 Comments


CaRto0nz Community Member «Prev \| Next» Archive \| Home [09/23/08 02:21am] [08/01/08 10:53am] [07/28/08 03:49pm] [07/17/08 09:19pm] [06/17/08 11:49pm] [06/02/08 07:08am] [06/02/08 05:09am] [06/01/08 08:56am] [05/31/08 10:48am] [05/25/08 09:12am]

	User Comments: [4]
	User Comments: [4]


	I'm not sure whats worse... Being wanted so much people hate and beat you, try to own you by force... or having people torn out of your soul. I'm truly sorry for your loss... Offline DevineBlood · Community Member · Fri Sep 14, 2007 @ 08:24am


	Babe...I am so sorry... I don't even know what to say... I mean damn.... hun I'll always be here for you to talk to.. Offline Vanylla_Latte · Community Member · Sat Sep 15, 2007 @ 01:08am


	"i know that nothing me, or anyone else would say, would be able to cheer you up, but that isn't going to stop us from trying. even when you tell us not to." "i realize that we can't take the place of the memories of the ones who have died in your life, but we want to be there to make new ones. and i know that everone who posts here in your journal can agree with me on that. and not only people online. there are still many pople who are willing to help you keep walkin when you fallen down and can't seem to get up. there's Mike, me, your mom, the rest of your friends... who's name's escape me at the moment... sorry bout that." sweatdrop "i know these are things you've known, and have heard me repetively say, time and time again, but these are things that people should here more than they'd want to, cause it can't be more closer to the truth. i know youmight rant at me for saying such stupid stuff later, but it's still something i hope you'll understand. and if you do, then i hope you don't forget." "just bacuase we heven't gone through what you have gone though, doesn't mean we can't pull you through it. and we all will. at least your closest friends will. just remember. just there's not much of a family there, there still is one. and that family runs much thicker than blood. blood may be thicker than water, but the will of the ones who care about you, is as solid as steel." But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses. 1 Timothy 6:11-12 Offline Lucid Ordinance · Community Member · Sat Sep 15, 2007 @ 10:44pm

	User Comments: [4]
	User Comments: [4]

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