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Yes. I'm going to rant. Deal with it! My life sucks, my teachers either treat us like we're way older or way younger. I like neither. My math teacher acts like she drank 2 jugs of coffee in the morning and goes way to fast when it comes to explaining things. I've begged for the past few weeks for people to give me music. No one has. My free time is getting less and less the more school goes on. I like free time. I need free time. I accualy wished that I was home schooled earlier because I hate the people in my classes that I have to work with on daily bases. I'm growing more and more irritable (as many of you may have noticed) and I'm finding it hard to deal with everyday life. My 18-year-old cusin has been liveing with me as he trys to get into the army. His idiotic recruter keeps takeing leave time and so my cusin, who was suppost to stay with us for a couple of weeks, has now stayed at my house, in my room, for more than seven weeks! I'm on the verge of another mental break-down. My last mental break-down was bad. Really bad. And I think that if I have another I will litteraly hurt someone. I miss my best friend in the whole world, who moved sudenly to Calaordo over the summer break without warning. She was my support system and I really wish that she was here right now because the tears are already falling down my face as I'm writing this. I don't know if I can survive this year. I don't know if I can survive this month. I wish Nicky was here. She would really help me right now, but she's not here and I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm all alone, even when there are people around me and I just feel so issolated from people. I really just need to get away from this place. The only thing that I can do is wait, wait until something happenes and everything just starts to fall apart again and there's nothing else for me to do but cry and break down and hurt someone or myself and even then, nothing will be fixed. Everything will still suck and everything in my life will be unhinged again like it has so many times in my life. I'm just so sick of this place! I can't do this much longer! I just want to pack up and leave this place and move to Chicago, or Seattle, or San Diago or anywhere besides here! I just really need a person who will listen and help me with all of this because I don't want to be alone! I want to have a friend that will be there and I can count on! I have great friends, but I just need someone who truely understands how I feel, and no one does! No one knows what's going on in my head! It's a very scary place for me and I just want to get out! I think that if I write anymore, I'm going to have that break-down I was talking about and I'm already about to. I just really need to get that out there. I just really need someone to be there, to listen to what I have to say.
x~ Reyna ~x Community Member |
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Community Member
That really, really sucks.