I'm sure people have it worse then I do.
I'm pretty damn sure about it.
But I guess God himself didn't prepare me for this.
My best friend, Brittany has a boyfriend.
Now don't get me wrong I'm completly proud of her! I honestly and truly am!
But it gives me a sense of lonliness. And it hurts.
I'm the only one in our group that hasn't had a boyfriend.
And that's not a bad thing believe me, life's a lot better without a guy.
But knowing...it's just...a few days ago she wanted me to sleep over because she claimed we never talk anymore.
I can agree with that we don't. But now she has Kenny (Don't make fun of his name) and we'll talk less and less.
And it makes me mad, frusterated! It makes me frightened.
I need friends, sure I take them for granted. But I need them.
They're my life support. Without them I would break down.
And that'w what I'm doing. Brittany is my main life support, and if she breaks or if I lose her then everythign else is gone.
And this makes me cry. I hate being alone! I mean sure occasionaly is fine!
But I don't like being alone! It's depressing! I don't like it!!
Dammit! Why does this happen to me? If this is a test God I failed.
I mean i can share and all, but...this is just too hard!
It hurts, it hurts really bad! I didn't know this kind of pain existed.
And sure I could be dramatic and I'm probably over exxagerating.
But she's been my only friend since I moved here!
Since she moved here!
Dammit!!
I hate this! This is hell!
...But I need to be happy for her. She doesn't like it when I cry.
So I guess, I'll have a mask for Brittany also now.
I have one for Brandon, Marcus, Megan, Kayleigh.
Never did I imagine I'd need one for Brittany.
But now, there is only one person whom I can talk to.
And he had to move.
You better call me dammit.
Well, I guess it's time to put on a mask.
-VHG
 Your Missing Period · Sat Oct 06, 2007 @ 01:45am · 0 Comments |
