|
Sarcasm and Star Wars and...Alliteration, oh my! [Spoilers] |
|
|
|
|
|
|
I can’t take the third Star Wars movie seriously any more. Well, at least not the end of it. I only watched about the last 45 minutes of it, and I never watched the second movie, so that made it a lot harder to get into all the drama.
But I came in on the part where Yoda and Darth Whatsisname were fighting, and Anikin and Obi Wan were fighting elsewhere (apparently on a planet made of magma, in a river of magma.)
So, let me start out with the less entertaining of the two parts: The Yoda fight. I like Yoda just as much as the next person, because who couldn’t love a little green alien who talks funny and knows everything? But that didn’t stop me from giggling a little bit. I was trying to entertain myself and see what my little brother would do if I made fun of his beloved Star Wars, so I started making fun of the fight scene. Yoda seemed to pretty much get tarred, even when he had the upper hand. I mean, Darth Whatsisname was throwing those little mini-spaceships like discs of death, and Yoda was like ‘Run, run away!’ all the time. So I was adding in my own two cents in there every so often, commenting that Yoda could totally do better if he wasn’t so lazy, and eventually Darth Whatsisname was going to run out of discs of death to throw.
That one wasn’t as much fun as the Ani-Wan fight (that’s what I’ve dubbed it; I don’t care if others have already taken that term and used it to describe their little fan-pairing. Star Wars yaoi pairings scare the crap out of me anyway. >>;; )
First off, they were fighting on a thing over a river of magma. Molten magma. Why? Well, if there was any point to it, I kind of missed out, but it was fun to watch anyway. Like when that bridge thing collapsed and they were running away and trying to kill each other at the same time? Now, I’m going to say something really sexist that popped into my head: Girls wouldn’t do that. Girls would be like ‘Alright, we’re running for our lives right now, so I guess I don’t really need to put one more thing on my plate and try to kill you; we’ll finish this cat fight later.’ But Anikin and Obi Wan were like ‘We’re kind of running away from the river of magma, but I don’t see why that minor inconvenience should stop me from trying to chop your head off with my flashy blue thing.’
Then there was the magma-fall. A MAGMA-FALL. Why? (My mom says it was to make me ask questions.) So they’re about to go over the magma-fall when Obi Wan sees the little floaty thing, and he’s like ‘I could totally make that.’ And he does, but I pointed out that it would have sucked if he fell in. (My mom gave me a really sarcastic look when I said that. xD ) And somehow, because it wouldn't be epic otherwise, Anikin found a little floaty thing too. So they’re on little tiny floaty things over a river of magma, and they’re still fighting! I was aggravating my mom by pointing out at the time small matters of reality, such as the fact that a river of magma would have been really hot, but they didn’t look like they were sweating nearly as much as they should be. And not only that, but there were all those droplets of molten magma jumping around, and neither Anikin nor Obi Wan got hit, even once! It defies the laws of reality and physics and common sense! (And don’t you dare tell me that it’s allowed to, just because it’s Star Wars. Even Jedi aren’t immune to common sense. x0 )
Now, Ani-Wan (as a combined entity) has somehow made it off the little floaty things, onto solid magma, and Obi Wan’s all like ‘Don’t try to fight me any more, because I have the higher ground and you’re a little blonde imbecile.’ And Anikin’s like ‘I know you did not just go there.’ So he tries to jump over Obi Wan and kill him from above, and Obi Wan CHOPS HIS LEGS OFF. I can’t help it; I giggled like a little schoolgirl as Anikin (sans lower legs) was sliding down the hill into the river of magma. And his eyes were all glowing and stuff, and my mom and I were like ‘I don’t think glowy eyes are healthy. He should really go see a doctor.’ And then he bursts into flame (from being too close to the magma--reality kicked in at a really strange time). I’m not gonna lie: I totally lol’d. And my mom and I were like ‘Yeah, he definitely needs to see a doctor about that.’
I have friends who cried at that part of the movie, and I can understand that, if I had watched the entire second and third movie, I would probably have taken it more seriously. But if you want to watch it without bursting into convulsive giggle fits, don’t pick up at the end of the third movie.
 xX_Kuroko_Xx · Tue Oct 16, 2007 @ 02:31am · 4 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
