i never existed ...im just like a spirit ... hard to see ...the drifting spirit of a lost girl forced to live a non existant life amongst the living hardly visible ...not worth the time ...drifting in the shadows she sees the world for what it is ..a living hell ... a nightmare... a scam ...theres nothing worth living for ...u cant hold her u can hardly see her shes too distant ... she can only see u ...and wish to be solid and visible ... to feel the warmth ...to live
... ur all i have ... without u i have nothing to live for there will be no more light in my life! im dead without u! ... i have no purpose ... u give me hope ...but ... if u leave me ... ill just be lost in the darkness agan like before u found me ... i cant do this ...my life is nothing ... im forced to live in a world of agony ...ur the only star in the night sky that is my life ...please dont burn out of my sky ... i want u to stay there ...for a realy long time ...i know everything has an ending ...but i dont want it to end ..i hate change...its like the end of a good book ... i wanna know what keeps happening ... please dont go!
...the only thing i cud think of was "please dont leave me rudy ! dont go! " i called to u but all that was happening was me drifting back into a dark tunnel wile u stud at the opening and all i cud see was a silowet of u standing there ... all i was doing was being pulld back by the darkness my voice ecoing as i sed those words over and over agan .... it repeated in my head ...over and over agan...
...everybodys leaving me behind all my frends are leaving me behind ...all my good ones atleast and now im losing my boyfrend too ... i cant hold on to ppl ...they keep slipping away ...i reach up outa the darkness and grab someone and try to keep them and then they leave and i fall back into the dark abiss once more ...why do i even bother to try to be happy ...im doomed to falure for all my life my miserable little life ...its like every frendship or ..well ur basicly the only relationship iv had ...anyways every frend iv had or met first was like happy to talk to me ..then i got boring or annoying and they moved on and left me behind ..im standing still ...and everyone else progresses forward its like im just stuck in a level of a game and they get passed it and keeep going wile i cant beat that level and keep going with them ...
ug! i feel like gravity has increased on me agan tenfold and my vision is like an old black and white film and im sinking into a dark sea of tears and im drowning and my vision is fuzzy and im almost unconcious ...
 Celliron · Fri Oct 19, 2007 @ 01:41am · 2 Comments |
