okay i dont know why but lately i have been feeling down...i wont say depression or sadness but i just feel...sad its been hard through parts of my life. my problems may seem insignificant to others but to ME they are huge problems that trouble me....
my most painful problem for me is the fact that i was really good friends with this girl in the 7th grade, at FHS, and we hung out all the time and believe it or not she stayed at my house for the night a couple of times (nothing happened).
During this time i will admit it...i think back at it now and i feel no shame at saying this whether it were true or due to naivety : i loved her
The thing that bothered me is we both started going to the same school, Hobart, and we saw each other less and she made more friends but we still hung out like everyday or so. but then when she went to high school, Harvey, and i was still in middle school , Hobart, she would get rides to school in the morning and we would hang out sometimes. Then all the sudden she just vanished from my life...no goodbye or anything. This really didnt effect me until recently when i had a dream that i saw her at school (she supposedly goes to Harvey like me) and she said she hated me...the dream ended there because my cousin, who just got back from work, woke me up to give me some french fries from McDonalds(he works there)
anyways the pain that had been held up inside burst forth...i realized then i missed her badly. Now i see that it may be naive to look for her. but i do. when i go to my next class i look for her in the halls. I took french for several reasons. one was because i thought i might see her.
i know that it is the reason i am sad. that is why i want to see her. I will accept a goodbye or a hey...i just want to see her again even for a second i will be happy...
Firr Community Member 
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