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Okay.
So, I've been thinking about my past crushes who are now good friends.
Josh Bailey.
I used to have the biggest crush on him.
So I told him, but we remained friends.
Fine with me.
I told my "friend", Manda, this, and she's saying that he was "all over her" at the Sady Hawkings dance in 9th grade.
No. She has it backwards.
She was all over him.
The next day, she was gone, and we were talking about it.
He was like, "God. Amanda was ALL OVER me at the dance."
I laughed and said, "Yeah. I noticed."
He laughed, too, and said, "Yup. I hated it so much. I don't like her."
I looked at him and said, "Not even as a friend?"
He said, "Barely."
OHHH!
BURN, AMANDA!
Gahhhh. Sorry.
That was bothering the ******** out of me.
Anyway.
Remembering that dance now... I'm glad I went.
I just regret asking James to go with me.
He thought I wanted to get back together with him...
But I just wanted to remain friends.
We're not even that anymore.
I heard from one of his friends that his girlfriend thinks I hate her.
But she's the one who hates me. :/
Meh. Whatever.
You can't have the approval of everybody.
It's not like I care.
She can hate me all she wants.
I'll probably end up hating her, too.
I don't think she realizes it, but every time she looks at me, it's a dirty glare.
It makes me giggle.
I don't care who's reading this.
I don't care if she's reading this.
I'm going to be stuck-up for a minute.
I KNOW I'm prettier than she is.
I would never admit that to anybody.
I would never say "I'm pretty."
But I know for a ******** fact I'm prettier than her.
*Grins*
And I'm damned proud to admit that.
Pat's trying to make me more... confident?
And vice-versa.
He's a sweetie. <3
And I love him with all my heart.
Paragraph time!!!
In all my past relationships, I've never loved anybody like I love Pat. John. Yeah, he was my first kiss. So of course I have some emotional attachments to him. Well... I had some. We're really good friends right now, and I can tell him anything and know that he won't run off and tell anybody. It's unsaid, but we're like... I dunno. It's hard to explain. I'm always there for him, and he's always there for me. He's not the "player" he used to be, which is great news for me to hear. I'm scared about him. He used to have sex right and left... and I was terrified he would get an STD. But now he's not... I think he saw how it affected me... Him and Bailey [Josh] used to be good friends, and I would tell Bailey how much it hurt me to see him do that to himself. So he must have told John... and yeah. :] Anyway. He's comforted me so much in this past month of November, it's not even funny. No, we haven't talked for more than ten minutes total. Not even that. But just knowing that he's sincere about whatever he tells me is enough to comfort me. Long story short, my life has been Hell for the past few years, and John recently found out why, and he's so upset and distraught about it. So. After my relationship with John, there was James. I truely thought he was the one for me, but oohhh boy. Was I wrong! He turned out to be really... hm... what's the word... clingy? That's an understatement, really. Lol. His friends didn't like me all that much... except for Corey, who apparently had a crush on me/thing for me. If he would have asked me out first, I probably would have gone out with him before he moved away. But he was stuck on some chick... Anyway. James and I were together for about... four months. I only enjoyed two of them. The final two were me contemplating on when to break-up with him. And I did... three days before Valentines Day. On Steve Irwin's 44th birthday. February 11th. Funny how I remember that, but not the day James asked me out? Lol. So... that ended horribly. The note he gave me after I broke-up with him made me feel like killing myself. I'm not kidding. It was like, about how much he "loved" me and how much I "meant to him." And it also said how he'll "never love another because he still loves me" and s**t like that. All my friends told me to not think about it, so I didn't, then he thought I hated him, and we had a huge fight... and yeah. It didn't turn out well. He barely talks to me now, and I feel like a reject. But it's not like I give a ********. At least I don't want to be ******** Japanese. So, after James, there was Kyle. I was his first kiss [obviously], and he lied to me. He told me he'd stopped smoking, but he lied. I'm allergic to smoke, so everytime we kissed, I would get sick to the point where I'd want to stay home from school. But I sucked-it-up and went to school. I broke up with him about a month later. Then... there was Corey. I'm not going to get into details about that, but when we broke up, he was going to kill himself. My mom told me he was just doing it to get me back, and he's still alive. So, yeah. I knew he wasn't serious about that. And that's it for my IRL relationships. I've had too many internet relationships to count... most of them ended up with the guy cheating on me for some interweb slut, them lying about their age/who they are/etc., or something else of the sort. So... yeah. Pat's the only one for me, and I ******** love him with all my heart. I love my fiance!
Haha! I spelled it right, Sandra!
 CaRto0nz · Tue Nov 13, 2007 @ 01:19am · 1 Comments |
