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Ugh, I haven't been sleeping at night! I wonder if it's from not taking medications, or if it's from taking medications. When I was on Zoloft, I couldn't sleep at night and I had gotten horrible heartburn during school back in the annex year. I went to stand up for the pledge (-.- I just stand, but look down at last minute homework trying to finish that up.) anyway, when I went to stand, I was stricken with a huge pain in my chest that brought me to my knees. My Science teacher at the time rushed over to me and asked me if I needed to go to the nurse. Heh, what a day that was. I thought I was going to pass away or something. So I switched anti-depressant/anxiety pills with something new. The same medication my dad was on...until he had his switched to Zoloft. I never take those pills because they are so hard to split in half and I don't feel like taking my time to do it. (Lazy, no?) So that may be my reason why I am such a wreck. (Although, I should not blame the medication sometimes.)
A friend of mine had just leant me a BUNCH of anime DVDs. I do not necessarily like anime that much, but he insisted that I watched them. However, The DVD's won't play in the DVD player, and for some reason they won't play on my laptop. My brother told me to download a program called AVI CODEC or something like that. So I tried that out, but I had no idea what I was doing. I'll try and get him to help me on that. I was going to watch the Final Fantasy anime. My friend told me it was cute, funny, and actiony. (If I remember right.) Well hopefully I will get that working and watch some of the many animes and episodes he let me borrow.
I rented Electra, I really wanted to see that movie but yet again, no one ever took me..just like when I wanted to see Madagascar, Unleashed, Kingdom of Heaven, and Mr. and Mrs. Smith. I don't have many friends..I don't want friends. I'm usually always let down or the third wheel...or even the a** of everyone's jokes. I'm not sure I like that too much. Which is why I refuse to be with them. I know it's all sarcasm to them, they think it's funny and maybe they don't know they're hurting my feelings..Well actually they do, but they keep on messing around with me. I don't have anyone I can go to anymore. No one that I can talk to physically. I guess it sucks. All I ever do now is draw, computer, volunteer, and sleep.
Which I like. I love this lifestyle. No one bothers me when I trap myself up in my room.
I finally meet somebody who is the same way as I am, you could say. He could be the male equivalent to me. I see him..and I just want to make him feel better. His facial expression is always the same. It's that "blah" look. I want to make him smile, let him laugh with me. (I may be a sensitive and an anxiously sad girl, but I'm always cheerful to others and even myself..) Enough about this guy though.
I'm back on with Disney, yo. Heh. I'm pushing myself to learn how to draw Disney style. I've been working on my own thing-and it's just not cutting it for me. So i'm going back to drawing Disney characters and doing different things with them. I have a lot of my old drawings of Jasmine, Ariel, Tinkerbell (Ew), Merlin, Jiminy Cricket, a bimbette (Beauty and the Beast), Kuzco, Lumiere and many others.
Most people don't look twice at my "art", because I don't do much anime. Anime seems to be really popular, and now it's just a cliche to me. For other arty news, I've been practicing my photography again. I ran out of Living Dead Dolls to practice it on though. Some people liked my pictures of them. (Find them on www.shurose18.deviantart.com) My brother won't let me use him as a subject. I used him once, and that was the last. Heh. I think I hurt him with hair wax when I twisted his hair up-trying to give him spikes..it was just too long. He's thinking-"Never again." I guess I couldn't blame him.
Alright, i'm finished whining..or telling..or howver you took it.
-Christina.
P.S. Christina urges you to listen to "Eleanor Rigby" by the Beatles.
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 dolls in stitches · Tue Jun 28, 2005 @ 05:52pm · 1 Comments |
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