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crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying ur such a cruel person. crying crying crying crying crying

what happened to my previous comment? did u delete it?

Waaaa! crying crying crying crying crying That was mean! Hmph!
It's a good section, but your still evil.

And I'm prettty sure you forgot the word "her" in the first line. Just saying.
"... and was able to take [HER] farther away..."

i said it would be dramatic, sorry.

I agree with born2surf, good drama.... Actually, I think this is a good time to admit my fondness of angst. Yes, yes, you may shoot me, fluff lovers all, but nothing cheers you up and fills your appetite for reading so much as a good dose of misery. Wow, I sound mean. don't get me wrong, I really enjoy happy too, but angst is overrated... Though, were you ever to write seriously let me tell you, (solely for practice in my aspiring career as an editor) that you do tend to get overexcited. A good trait, but make sure it dosen't get in the way of your detailing the situation.

Okay, *steps out of pompous role* done. Good story.

is it just me or did u edit the spelling and grammatical errors in this? confused anyway, it's a decent story, although the writing is too straightforward (needs more color and more sensual details) and it's kind of predictable. also, how did she know something bad was about to happen?! xd

Yes i agree with Glamring. Dieing was a bit overboard. Maybe have the BF sent away or something. But dieing is just overboardly stupid >.>