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For my First Journal Entry, I'd just like to say how Much I HATE my MOTHER evil ...
She did All of this.
Or I suppose it's My fault that she had sex with my dad and had me. Yeah, that's Totally My fault...
But of course the cops sided with her...
Of course...
Sometimes I just wish I was just dead... And even at this moment I want to.
Call me Emo, I don't care.
Say I'm Stupid, I DON'T CARE!...
My life may not be filled with rape and family murder or drugs but it's on a scale of it's own...
All those extremes r not the Worst that could happen to someone... Something that comPletely changes who u are and... how u Will be...
That's Really scary...
Someone's who's played a part of every Action u make...
THAT'S scary...
At the moment I don't even know what to do with myself...
I see no end in my destruction...
My mother's a complete B**** and my father is leaving her as soon as he refinances the house...
My mother's salary does Not pay the house bill...
What am I to do...
Sleep in my car?,
Good I guess... but it's my Mother's car...
Sleep at my friend's?
... For how Long...?...
I don't want to burden anyone with My problems... Which is Other people's problems...
Having a sister where even if i Was tossed out, I don't know if she would even open her door to me... So germaphobic...
In no time I'll be one of those bums u see at Every stop sign or red light with their hand out... Begging for money... Being a "BURDEN" to society.
If anything society is MY burden... And probably a Lot more others.
Parents, children and friends alike...
I'll just move to Alaska where I can have a cottage to my own with just snow and a breeze to keep me company and who knocks at my door once a while...
I'll light my fire and cuddle up in my throw while my cat Nemo purrs and suckles my finger tips.
(U think it's weird but it's adorable to me. ^^)
I'll pay my taxes and I'll pay my bills but not Once do I wanna have to consult My future with someone who doesn't care where I end up...
Would rather me rot in prison or HELL for the slightest Twitch...
In small towns u don't see that... Especially in Alaska...
I'd rather be dead on the ground then talk to that Wretch again and PLEAD for forgiveness...... Not that she'd give any...
I do think that the Only reason she went into that study and Took the job was so that she could get Smart with people...
and tell them, "Why don't I just SEND u back to Jail..."... those words I never thought to of heard...
From Anyone yes, but not to me.
People stabbing others got off easier then me and no one was harmed. they STRETCHED the truth until it was no more than a LIE!...
But do they say that?
... no...
Do they Hint that they may've been wrong?
... No... Not the Slightest nod or concern of Where I may lead...
They see One... Have they really seen them all... No...
Seeing one, two, three, or three Thousand is Not the entire world...
There r twists and turns for Every family... every Person...
I think i got the sentence i did was because the B***** was too lazy to Call another Anger Management program and Set me up with them...
If it's ur JOB to keep people Out... Y stick them in?...
So many crimes and murders where cops looked away... and yet this Shove caught the attention of the World... MY world...
It will all be on my Record... I may never work another decent job again...
I may stray down the Wrong path no matter What my GUT says and end up dead in a gutter or abandoned vehicle in a matter of years...
Call me stupid but i would KILL for that now... Then to go thru it all...
Let's just skip down to it and kill me...
Go Straight To Jail... Do Not Pass Go...
[center:489c9993ae]My first Attempt at Animating Avis. biggrin How'd I do?
[img:489c9993ae]http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a345/BlackCherryChild/Gaia%20Avatars/Animated%20Avis/GaiaBlink-1.gif[/img:489c9993ae]
[img:489c9993ae]http://fc08.deviantart.com/fs46/f/2009/245/1/c/L_O_V_E_by_DusterAmaranth.gif[/img:489c9993ae]
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 Saiyuri Inuzuka · Tue Mar 18, 2008 @ 11:43pm · 0 Comments |
