I'm a cutter, you're a lyer. How long did it take me to figure that out? My heart feels like it's bleeding with every stab out of your mouth. I thought you'd understand why I did what I did. Every sentence from you, like a blow. You wonder why we come to blows. Why I hide away in my room, in my mind, where words can't hurt me and no one else exists. You wonder why I cryI Why I cut and beg and bleed. Why I lock myself away. Why I have so much to say. When I talk, they tell me, 'shut up'. When I stay silent, they berate me. They wonder why I hide. Why I cry. Why I scream. You wonder why I never come to grips with anything.
You won't know till I take the final step. 'Till I leave you all. I think of it sometimes. How it would be. Dead.
I imagine... Cold. Alone. Silent as can be. It's peaceful and I feel free. I have no worries, because there's nothing to feel. No pain to remember. Again and again. No hate directed towards me for just being alive. No disappointment becuase there's no one to disappoint. Im free. Im safe.
The shadows comfort me in thier cold, silent embrace. The silence warms me like a last dying ember in an old, raging fire. The light hurts in it's brightness. I prefer the shadows. The silence. The words hurt in thier hatered, pain and disappointment.
My head hurts now. I want to rest. I want to forget, for just awhile. I want to pretend that my rest will be forever. I want to know that in the end. The darkness will be there. For me to be free.
Severus_Golden_Angel · Sat Aug 13, 2005 @ 07:42am · 0 Comments |