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Life is nothing more then a simple period of time. At least, that's my opinion. But unlike everyone else, my "life" has strayed from its original path. I'm finding myself falling more than moving forward, hypothetically of course. It's almost as if I'm not moving at all while the rest of the world moves ahead. I constantly try to change my life but it ends up backfiring on me. During this seemingly endless lifetime, I strive to live. But can anyone really live with no friends, no social life, no job and the most important thing I life could have, no love? I'd like to think that there are people worse off then me but I don't think anyone has ever had so many thoughts of suicide. The only thing that I've been able to accomplish in this lifetime, and that isn't even finished, is writing a book and a half. But they aren't even published so they don't mean anything; except in my mind. More often then others, my dreams of me living the events that happen in my novel seem more real to me then my own realistic life. I wonder if it is possible to recreate a character in your mind and the rest of your own being starts to change so that the two sides can cooperate with one another? I think so. From my novel, I had one character that was what I wanted to be like in the very beginning. Soon after, I created another character that was even more realistic in my eyes who was me, but also who was like the other character from the beginning. That realistic character has already changed me. But now, the special connection that the character had is starting to affect me not only mentally, but emotionally and physically as well. I've tried to stop writing but the idea's are still in my mind. If possible, I believe that I've been able to create another world much more realistic then the one I'm living in now. Maybe the world I live in now is just another thought to get away from a much worse place then this. Do I play any important role in either of the mental dimensions? Or maybe this is just a part of a much greater novel then my own, maybe this is all written down somewhere and no matter what I do, I can't change the events. Am I the only one who thinks this? Doubtful. The only thing I can do now is look for the one my novel calls "Sarah" and finally reach my path once more. She may not go by the name the book has written in it, but I know that feeling when I'm around her. Again, my physical, mental and emotional self have all changed to match the one in the book. If I find her... no, when I find her, I'll look into her eyes and feel that exactly feeling the character felt when with Sarah. I promise this.. and as read:
"Another Place, Another Time, I will find you."
-Chrono Cross
/^ JayxthexAngeL ^
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