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TrigunCat4's Journal
This journals about all the stuff I incounter and also my place to write updates in my life . I love anime, manga & movies. This will preriodicly apear in my journal. I also will write about what ever comes to the top of my head, it may be jibberi
Spectator
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Sometimes I feel like I’m a spectator in my life. I am always gazing at my hopes, dreams, and future, instead of acting on them or taking the preparations to act on them.
I sit and think of all the pleasant things I want out of life and about the actions I need to take right now in my life to keep those sights within reach.

Yet, I don’t act on what I know I need to do. Idealistically I know exactly what I have to do, to take care of the apartment, keep my stuff organized, get enough sleep and get it during the proper hours, be on top of my responsibilities, etc. But I never reach that point and just watch my time go by. I have to time to take care of these responsibilities but I only place a foot down in the race called life.

I want to run my life smoothly on its course. I want my dreams to come true.

As much as I want to achieve my dreams, I only have a vague sight of them. It’s like when you look at the stars. You see the light simmering, you know it’s floating out there in space, yet you don’t know what it looks like up close.

I want to have career that I will love going to everyday, though I know it’s not possible to have everything so hunky-dorey, I still want to be content and excite about my job. I wanna make a difference in the world, I’ve always have since I was a little girl. Even if it’s just a dent or if it just makes people think or put a simile on their faces, then I’ll have hit the jackpot. I wanna have someone by my side to laugh and brave through what life throws at us. A person who will see me and will be happy with that and vice versa, I don’t me physically see each other but our whole personalities as a whole. I’m such a romantic. I wanna have many years to come with my friends, to share each others experiences, hardships, laughs and enjoy one another company. I wanna be happy and take care of my responsibilities, so that I can just let myself enjoy the wind.

Ambiguity can only take you so far though, that’s where the doubts come in, since I don’t have the exact directions to my stars.
I still haven’t picked what career I want to do. I’m majoring in Anthro, but don’t know which career to take out of that.

Maybe it’s unclear for the time being and then a plan will emerge so I can travel to my stars. Maybe it’s just the age I am at that makes it so cloudy to see the right actions.
Maybe it’s those small unsure steps will guide me to them, and then I’ll be an astronaut instead of a spectator.

Ok, I helped out Peyo. Will restore sig later. Right now I'm gonna induldge in my current fandom!
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USxUK ftw!

Post Permanent Link TrigunCat4 · Fri Aug 15, 2008 @ 01:53pm · 2 Comments
TrigunCat4
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    User Comments: [2]
    I forgot the exact quote but hey, what the hell. "With this drill I will pierce the heavens and beyond the stars!" Stephanie or anyone else that's watched Gurren Lagann has the right to correct me and put a thumb up their nose and then into their mouth... dramallama
    (Of course you don't have the right to do that because you haven't watched the show!!!)

    Anyway I think we all feel like this... Yes even Greg. Just the other day too I felt almost exactly like that but more like... a... ah... dog looking up the stars and wanting to go to them, in your metaphor you were human and dogs have an even slimmer chance of going up to the stars unless they want to sacrifice one to the gods by sending it into a burning star.
    Don't feel bad if it seems like your taking too long to smell those small tiny (It's tiny and small therefore it's cuteness gets a 47% boost) flowers alongside the road, sometimes they smell too damn sweet and good but they're always going to be there and there are also more different flowers up to come that we haven't even seen before... now it feels like I'm trying to sound all philosophical and like a Dr./Prof. that teaches at the University of the Chaffey Institute Academy of the Gifted Minds of the White World. dramallama dramallama

    Oh and this reminds me I need to write a journal or something too! dramallama dramallama
    (I love the Drama Llama.)

    ... dramallama

     
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    comment Terato · Community Member · Tue Aug 26, 2008 @ 10:41am
    That's right! I'm taking the time to read your journals! What of it! Oh and like Abraham said, yep, I feel that way too. Even though I think I'm resourceful and I plan everything out, I worry a whole bunches (then again, you knew that, didn't you?). We're never really sure how stuffs is gonna turns out. See, even if you plan everything and prepare for adulthood *cringes* we're still gonna worry. It's our nature. It's our cup of pie. Bananas that are just right! 3nodding

     
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    comment goingd · Community Member · Sun Aug 31, 2008 @ 10:21pm
    User Comments: [2]