So my life has been cleansed. Emptied. I no longer run dnd on Sundays, or work, or go to dance lessons and I don't often go out on the weekends now. I should have tonnes of time but it is still always a rush for everything. I still don't have time to spare. When I do stop moving I often contemplate my life atm. It's so empty I shd have committed suicide long ago. But day to day I am happy. I think I only stay sane/happy because I keep telling myself it's temporary. I plan on going back to dance, getting a new job. After my knees are fixed.
My physio showed his first doubts in my knees yesterday and I got scared. It hasn't really been long enough for the treatments to be working yet but if he is doubting me, how can I be confident I'll dance again.
It scares me to think I may hafta give it up for good. (And as I type this Field Of Dreams comes on and makes me wanna dance confused )
I started glow sticking again today. I'm hoping I can make some good come of this emptiness and lack of knees. If I can greatly improve my glowsticking and singing I will not feel like a few months of my life were wasted. And so far I've been pretty good to study on Saturdays instead of work. I'm proud of that but I need to keep it up.
My singing took a blow when I got that cold recently. My voice almost went and I still have trouble singing like I did. Still some cough left over. I want to get it back as it was at least if not better. I hope to one day sing in a band in a live concert but sometimes I think that will never happen.
We shall see...
undacuva_druid · Tue Sep 16, 2008 @ 02:28pm · 0 Comments |