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Well, another day, in which I worry about what my future holds for me. It's not like it's new, but I'm at the point that I just might be worrying myself sick... So here I am with a swollen neck and throat and unable to eat or drink very much. Maybe I'll loose some pounds that I might have been gaining from eating too much... >.> Or I can go to that new fitness club that opened in the same store building that was once a internet cafe thing... Before it was closed down because of illegal gambling, of course... <.< This town sucks, but I have no choice but to remain here for now... One because of I need money in order to do anything, really, and two, my mom won't be able to last long without me.
Yeah, sounds like I'm making an excuse by bringing mom in here, but it isn't. If you knew how bad her back was and she was your mom, you'd stay with her, too. And what about her husband? Trying to make money by doing side jobs, with no real job of his own, unless you have to count his garbage business that seems to start going down the drain... But all-in-all, he's always gone, so who else would help mom? Me. If I move out and left mom to the chores, who would do them? Her. What about her husband? "Woman are meant for housework, men don't do housechores."... Didn't you know though that housework was once a man's job and the woman's was to take care of his children..? Yeah, isn't that interesting. But nope, we're just in a different age of sexism, I guess.
Anyways, we're almost out of money, and with mom gone from work for about two months now, it seem unlikely that we'll get much for Christmas... Maybe Dollar General would hire me before then, so that I can buy mom and Ryan and Josh and dad and others presents. Maybe. Depends if I can even do so... I could always make presents, but my drive to work on anything have been so low that I don't think I could be an author... God, I hope that isn't it... I want to be a writer... I don't know what to do with my life if I don't want to write... I'll be failing everyone, including my parents, since they want me to go to college... I don't really wish to go, though... God, I hate myself sometimes...
Well, anyways, I'm done rambling...
~Rose
 Mafdet of Egypt · Fri Oct 31, 2008 @ 09:33am · 1 Comments |
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