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Before you, I wasn’t nice to anyone.
Before you, I didn’t trust anyone.
Before you...I would cry myself to sleep.
Before you...I had a wall around me...
I was used. Someone very close to me took my heart...my most precious item...
And played with it. They tore it apart and treated it like it was a game.
As soon as I got it back...as soon as my sense returned...I died. And that wall shot up like there was no tomorrow. I locked myself away from everyone, not letting a single word torture me anymore. My life was over. There wasn’t anyone who seemed to notice that my smile was fake. That my laugh wasn’t real... No one noticed that when I smiled...I died a little more inside...no one noticed that I laughed to hide my tears...
And then...there was you...
This little boy who’s face was familiar and warm. It haunted me...my dreams were nightmares...
I had no idea what I was feeling...all I knew is I couldn’t stop it.
Like a picture, your face brought memories of when I had a life.
When...I was still me.
Then...there was that day..
They day I met you. The day you spoke to me...
Your words broke that wall down without trying.
I was useless...
I tried in vain to stop my heart from racing when I saw you.
But then...your voice...
It pierced my ears in a way that I had felt only once before...
And your eyes...
I couldn’t stop it...my soul felt attacked...my whole body wanted to lash out at you to look away...
And then...the day you touched me...for the first time in years...
I could feel it.
Your cold fingers on my arm.
It burned. My skin felt as if it were on fire. And yet...when you let go...
I wanted more. I want you body next to mine...
I yearned for your contact...
I needed it...I hated it. I hated this feeling because that last time I felt it..
I was hurt. But this...it was different.
Before...I had been looking for love...trying too hard to find it...
And you...
The love I had for you blossomed out of nowhere...
It over took my body, my heart, my soul....and I was scared.
It was something that I tried to stop...tried to keep quiet...tried to hide..
You had no idea how you were hurting me...but then...the pain was gone...
Everything was clear and full of color...
The wall was gone. I could see everything...I could see my friends and my love.
I could hear it all...the sound of real laughter escaped my lips for the first time in years...
And it sounded like music...
Music! My heart had forgotten how beautiful it was!
Music was the one thing I cried over most...and these tears now were of joy.
No one knew why I had this reaction...like a disease my body moved without thinking.
I was so happy to be alive...so happy to be back...and that feeling...
The feeling of being used...and hurt...
It was gone.
Gone forever and I smiled and enjoyed the company around me...
And through all of that chaos...my eyes laid only upon one thing...
You.