It's always in the last place you look...well of course it is!!! Why the hell would I keep looking after I found it!
The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty; it's twice as big as it needs to be.
I reject your reality and substitute my own.
"Sometimes you put up walls not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down."
Have you ever considered suing your brain for non-support?
Are you thinking what I'm thinking that I think that you're thinking I'm thinking because if you think that I think what I think I'm thinking then we've got a problem?
Honesty is the best policy but insanity is the best defense.
I'm not crazy; my reality is just different than yours.
The human race is lucky I'm a nice person, otherwise only 1/4 of them would be alive right now.
I work hard because millions on welfare depend on me!
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
We Americans, we're a simple people... but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities.
Always remember this: If you don't attend the funerals of your friends, they will certainly not attend yours.
Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill because they ticked me off.
I'm multi-talented: I can talk and piss you off at the same time
'My goal in life is to be as good a person as my dog thinks I am.'
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most
Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God
When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip and slide.
I don't obsess! I think intensely.
I find "good morning" contradictory
My heart? Yeah. Not a playground.
You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30, and I'm still 29, who'll be laughing then?
Don't hate yourself in the morning...sleep till noon
When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back.
I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect.
'Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.'-Aristotle
'When I saw you, I was afraid of meeting you. When I met you, I was afraid of kissing you. When I kissed you, I was afraid to love you. Now that I love you, I'm afraid of losing you.'-Anonymous
'I think people proclaim their love too easily. I will never seriously tell someone I love them if I don't mean it, so when I do say it, know that you now hold my heart in your hands.'-Me
'So I'm in love with several fictional characters from books and 'cartoons', your point?'-Me
'So he was once a psychopath killer, he had a good reason. Besides, he's sexy, and that's all I need.'-Me about Gaara from Naruto
'It's better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all.'-Lord Alfred Tennyson
'It takes a minute to find someone special, an hour to appreciate them and a day to love them, but an entire lifetime to forget them.'-Anonymous
'Boys don't fall for me; I trip them.'
Common sense is the enemy of comedy.'
'Sarcasm isn't an attitude, it's an ART.'
'Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?'
'Dream as if you'll live forever… Live as if you die today.'
'Don't get mad; get sadistic.'
'I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it!'
'They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you stood there and yelled 'BANG' I don't think you'd kill many people.'
'It's all fun and games until someone gets a fork in the eye THEN IT'S EVEN FUNNIER!'
'Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you keep on talking.'
'Define normal.'
"The best part of believe is the lie."
Remember that happiness is a way of travel - not a destination.-Roy M. Goodman
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.-Mae West
"Whenever people are put to the test, I often hear then boast, 'I'd rather die.' But do you think they honestly mean it?" ~Andrew Waltfield
"Unlike in sports, the game of war has no set time limit and no points awarded, so how do you determine the winners and losers? When all your enemies are destroyed? Perhaps then." ~Andrew Waltfield
"I'm surrounded by idiots, but they mean well." ~Hiei, Yu Yu Hakusho
We learn from history that we learn nothing from history.
The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty; it's twice as big as it needs to be.
I reject your reality and substitute my own.
"Sometimes you put up walls not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down."
Have you ever considered suing your brain for non-support?
Are you thinking what I'm thinking that I think that you're thinking I'm thinking because if you think that I think what I think I'm thinking then we've got a problem?
Honesty is the best policy but insanity is the best defense.
I'm not crazy; my reality is just different than yours.
The human race is lucky I'm a nice person, otherwise only 1/4 of them would be alive right now.
I work hard because millions on welfare depend on me!
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
We Americans, we're a simple people... but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities.
Always remember this: If you don't attend the funerals of your friends, they will certainly not attend yours.
Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill because they ticked me off.
I'm multi-talented: I can talk and piss you off at the same time
'My goal in life is to be as good a person as my dog thinks I am.'
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most
Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God
When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip and slide.
I don't obsess! I think intensely.
I find "good morning" contradictory
My heart? Yeah. Not a playground.
You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30, and I'm still 29, who'll be laughing then?
Don't hate yourself in the morning...sleep till noon
When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back.
I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect.
'Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.'-Aristotle
'When I saw you, I was afraid of meeting you. When I met you, I was afraid of kissing you. When I kissed you, I was afraid to love you. Now that I love you, I'm afraid of losing you.'-Anonymous
'I think people proclaim their love too easily. I will never seriously tell someone I love them if I don't mean it, so when I do say it, know that you now hold my heart in your hands.'-Me
'So I'm in love with several fictional characters from books and 'cartoons', your point?'-Me
'So he was once a psychopath killer, he had a good reason. Besides, he's sexy, and that's all I need.'-Me about Gaara from Naruto
'It's better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all.'-Lord Alfred Tennyson
'It takes a minute to find someone special, an hour to appreciate them and a day to love them, but an entire lifetime to forget them.'-Anonymous
'Boys don't fall for me; I trip them.'
Common sense is the enemy of comedy.'
'Sarcasm isn't an attitude, it's an ART.'
'Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?'
'Dream as if you'll live forever… Live as if you die today.'
'Don't get mad; get sadistic.'
'I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it!'
'They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you stood there and yelled 'BANG' I don't think you'd kill many people.'
'It's all fun and games until someone gets a fork in the eye THEN IT'S EVEN FUNNIER!'
'Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you keep on talking.'
'Define normal.'
"The best part of believe is the lie."
Remember that happiness is a way of travel - not a destination.-Roy M. Goodman
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.-Mae West
"Whenever people are put to the test, I often hear then boast, 'I'd rather die.' But do you think they honestly mean it?" ~Andrew Waltfield
"Unlike in sports, the game of war has no set time limit and no points awarded, so how do you determine the winners and losers? When all your enemies are destroyed? Perhaps then." ~Andrew Waltfield
"I'm surrounded by idiots, but they mean well." ~Hiei, Yu Yu Hakusho
We learn from history that we learn nothing from history.
whee blaugh rofl 4laugh heart
