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The long forgotten lore of my life
When I feel like it I'll update with my thoughts, views, nonsensical ramblings or events. Just another look into my chaotic enough life. I never know what's going to happen.
Life's tumbling past in a whirl of color
Wednesday, January 14:

No, I'm not dead. A lot of people have been wondering why I haven't replied to PMs, comments, and the like. No, I assure you, I am not dead. Let me explain to you all what has happened in the past days, and why I haven't written any Journal entries.

WHY I HAVEN'T WRITTEN?


Alright, first up, lemme explain to you what's been going on. Life hasn't been the easiest. In fact, my social life has pretty much been drained down to the very last withered dregs in my tea cup of life. Really, there's no denying it. My job is sucking the last ounce of energy- and happiness- I have left.

I think it's time for a career change, don't you think?

I've promised myself that, if I write Journal entries, they try and stay away from the "depressing" side of life. This, folks, is why I've avoided writing. Sure, I mean I've had fantastic events in the past few weeks and such (New Years, hanging out with my friends and b/f), but really, I've been so spazzed out and insanely on the edge of a meltdown that I didn't want to bring anyone else down. I hate seeing other people sad, and that would only depress me even more. It's an endless cycle, you know?

So, the skinny of this gist is this: my brand, spanking new manager is a jackass. No, seriously. He is. The point of the matter is he's psychotic. He'll be nice to your face, but then turn around and talk about you behind your back to the other cashiers, workers, etc. For me, he absolutely despises me because I get sick easily. Why? Well, I have no immune system. At all. Chrons, my disease, has stripped me of any bodily defense. I take pills to strengthen what micro percentage of the internal defensive wall I have, but really, it doesn't work much.

What's the deal, then? Why is he bitchy over the fact I'm ill almost 24/7 (although hardly anyone- even people close to me- knows when I'm sick. I fake I'm happy and healthy pretty well)? Well, long story cut short, I got seriously sick on Christmas day. I got so sick that I couldn't keep a thing down. All I could do was hurl up my entire existence into the toilet bowl. To make matters worse, I had a horrible fever that set me into a spiraling tunnel of agony. My stomach aches felt like someone was taking a broadsword and impaling me upon it. I lost an incredible amount of weight (and strength) in a week. Yeah. This lasted a whopping 7 days. An entire week! It was that silly stomach virus going around but, since I have no immune system and a disease that loves to run rampant in my body, I got so sick that my mom was threatening to take me to the hospital.

Fun, fun! Because of this, my manager was ticked. He felt that I was weak, and was demanding that I come in to work. I did, after a few days. I could hardly walk- let alone stand- without wheezing, getting sick to my stomach and, finally, running to the bathroom to hurl. Fantastic.

That's just a small chunk of my problems with work. Let's just say he's been gone for two weeks now, but the damn gestapo general left us a schedule to be used for those two weeks he'd be gone. For me? 45 hours, each week, without a SINGLE DAY OFF.

And that, my friends, is why I haven't been on lately. Besides the job, and the depression, I'm basically loosing my mind. I'll be on, and fully active, but please! Patience! I have a lot of things to slosh through.



DIDN'T ANY GOOD THINGS HAPPEN?


Oh, sure. Plenty of good things happened over this lull between my last entry and now. I've been hanging out with Michael, going to the Yugioh tournaments. He's also helping me beat Silent Hill 2. Anyone play that game? It's fantastic. I played (and beat) it back when it was on the Playstation 1.

The game's hard, and cryptic (at best), but I can't tell you how many times I get chills seeing Pyramid Head limp towards me with that machete-butcher knife hybrid of bodily cleaving CARNAGE.

My half-sister got me into WoW-- which, to those who don't know of it, stands for World of Warcraft. Yeah. Guess what? I'm on there. Right now I'm trying to fix it; my laptop barfed up on me, and the game is having some difficulties, but when I get back on I'll let you guys know. Why? Well, in case there are any fellow WoW players out there, you can ask and I'll tell you my username. And, no. My username is not "Mandydandykid", or anything related to it. I named my Tauren after my native American Cherokee great-grandmother.

Let's just say I'm a cow. Heh, I'm a Tauren, who's gone down the path of a Druid. Think of Druid this way: we heal people, like Priests or Shamans do, but we have destructive powers just like the mages. He heal and kick a**. Oh, and I can turn into beasts. Right now I can turn into a Dire Bear. Also, I'm an herbalist and an Alchemist. Yeah. Totally badass.


WHAT DO YOU HAVE PLANNED FOR THE FUTURE?


Well, for sure, I'm staying on Gaia. My plans in the future is to really get some art going. That, and publishing this darn novel I've been working on for five years. Yeah. Five years. I think that tells me to get my arse moving.

I want a different job. I really do. That's my New Year's resolution. I can't stand this. I want something of a social life, and I want to have days off where I can heal. If I keep working, straight on through the days, without a single break really does damage to my Chrons. It runs me down, making it harder for me to get better faster when I'm sick. Also, working myself ragged brings up Chrons itself, and then I end up suffering. Work through the day, suffer at night. Brilliant...

But besides that, my future looks pretty bright. A Yuen Method healer actually dealt with me, but I'll tell you more about that later. Let's just say after pinpointing my disease, and the pain, I think got rid of most of it. I actually haven't had much pain these days, which is fantastic on my part. It's great actually waking up in the morning and being able to run, skip, jump and anything else that, generally, any normal person can do. I feel more active, and it's great. I'm able to dance again!

Yuen Method is a type of healing, like I said, but instead of medicine, the healer helps you psychically by healing you mentally. It's a strange concept, I know, but I believe in it. In order to clear yourself, you have to clear your aura of bad energy (by "swiping" wink , and you have to "complete a circle with your body". Sound familiar, all you Fullmetal Alchemist fans? Heh, thought so.

My healer, and teacher, said something weird, too. She described why I have Chrons and.. in my past... well, nah. I won't spoil it.


CLOSING THOUGHTS


So, everyone, I'm not dead. I'm going to be more active- god willing that I get a new manager, or actually some time off. I'm going bonkers here. Someone admit me to an insane asylum, stat!

Heh, just kidding. Anyway, it's a new year, right? A fresh beginning. Let's try and make this year the best ever. Let's not let this one dry up and wither before we have a little fun with it.

heart Peace out, ya'll! heart






User Comments: [8] [add]
Seraph 4
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Thu Jan 15, 2009 @ 12:18am
Grrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!-is growling in front of screen- That ratbastard!!!!! Im gonna disembowl him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!-transforms into my tigerwolf self and starts to rampage-
Grrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!-Kill!!!!!!!!!!!!-
Hissss~!!!!!!!!!!! I'll show you ya jerk!!!!! this street goes both ways ya hypacrite!!!! you'll get yours!!!!! maybe not today but soon!!!!!!!

-huggles Wolf-


Seraphs... shouldn't act that way... they are ment to be free!

(Opens the cage and the Seraph is free)

Fly on your wings...dont keep yourself in a cage.
commentCommented on: Thu Jan 15, 2009 @ 02:11am
wow, your manager is a seriouse jerk.... gonk 5 years?? Can you say stamina? xd Well, the longer you work at it, the bestter it is blaugh Best of luck to you Mander Danders!



Angel_Child_Of_Grace
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Almazy-Chan
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Thu Jan 15, 2009 @ 02:48pm
I will keep my threat to your manager short...I hope he dies. Okay into the happy stuff, because I don't want to get you down either.

NIce to know you found an awesome RPG game to play. I would love to play that sometime, it looks awesome. I found myself an RPG as well, Trickster. It's fun! blaugh

I do hope you get a new job! Your life has been kind of hard there, so it's time for change! Good luck! wink


commentCommented on: Thu Jan 15, 2009 @ 06:03pm
SERIOUS LMFAO!!!!!!!! Neko-chan, omg. xD I would SO love you to rip his a** apart. That would be amusing, and justice would be fulfilled! Yeah, the funny thing is is that, SOMEDAY, he'll get sick. THEN he'll know what it's like. Like I say, "Karmatic punishment is a biiiiitch, baby!" *huggles back*


Aww, Angel Child of Grace. lol, I survive on stamina alone. Thanks for the good luck wish!! x3


Emma (Almazy-chan! lol), yeah. I sorta wish that on him, but not quite. I know he'll get paid back dearly for his crap he's pulling. Ahhh, I've now become a bit numbed to the fact he's like this. I mean, last time he drug me in his office to scold me for being sick (AFTER HE WAS LATE BY 6 HOURS. I AM NOT KIDDING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!), I just watched him. Didn't look down at the floor, didn't back down. I refused to sit down (sign of being passive), and I kept direct eye contact with my arms crossed stiffly. The jerk couldn't even look me in the eyes. I.......HATE....... that. When people are trying to be superior to you, but can't even look at you or act fidgety, they're not acting like a leader. They're acting like a cowardly omega* who's still trying to prove stronger than someone by cheap tactics of bullying, and that ticks me off badly.

Anyway.... lol, yeah. WoW is fun as heck. I have a screen shot of my character. I should upload it for you guys! Trickster? What's that? What's it like?

I know. I want a new job, too. emo I'm going to take my vacation when he gets back. During that time, besides regaining my social life slowly, I'll be job hunting during the one week lull I'm off.


*Omega: I used this because I see human society like a wolf pack does. We have ranks, and so do they. Most of the time we must always have a leader (like their Alphas), second in commands (like wolves and their Betas), and anyone acting like a clear Omega (weakling, stepped on all the time, perhaps trying to be a usurper but failing. Omegas are important in the packs, but they're not strong or lack confidence at times to reach the higher spots), to me, is seen that way.

I know I see life weird. And heck, there are normal people who don't fall into that category. And I'm not saying humans are a bunch of drooling, cavernous mammals either. Psychologically my eye sees the ties between us and the wolves, and I can liken them to us. Hence why I'm obsessed with wolves and their hierarchies.



Andercondrak
Community Member
Almazy-Chan
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Fri Jan 16, 2009 @ 02:02pm
Trickster is an anime mmorpg (masive-multiplayer-online-role-playing-game Just in case). You get different jobs depending on the type of skill you picked, power, magic, skill, and charm. The type you choose is aperson with an animal spirit in a sense. Power-bunny, buffalo Magic-dragon, sheep Skill-lion, fox Charm-raccoon, cat. Then you it's just like any other rpg. Get items, skills, and do tons of quests.

I wish you like on your job-hunting when you do it then.

Almazy-chan! Lol.


commentCommented on: Mon Jan 19, 2009 @ 08:45pm
Life's even more confuseing >_< but sad,angrey,irrated are the most common expresson in life but Sad is more common than anything eles.



FangBlade71
Community Member
Andercondrak
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Wed Jan 21, 2009 @ 05:47pm
Ohh, Trickster! Yeah, I've heard about that. Hehe. I'd end up being some wacky animal. You know how I am. xD


commentCommented on: Wed Jan 21, 2009 @ 05:49pm
Yeah, Fang, I used to be aligned with the emotion of sadness. (Why do I feel like we're talking about MGS3 characters?) Anyway, not lately. I've been getting less sad (the way I was when no one was around), and I'm more ... I dunno. Active? Gutsy? Taking charge? So I'm not sad....not angry. Hell, I don't know WHAT I am!



Andercondrak
Community Member
User Comments: [8] [add]
 
 
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