At the end of the day, as the sun sets and the moon rises and all the stars come out from hiding, life itself goes on and changes, leaves me behind but sends me little post cards as to what's going on in the real world and sends me it's regards, perhaps even hoping I will come back to it one day. And yet I'm left utterly disabled; I can see these people and what they feel, even understand it all, having once felt before, but feeling no more, staying here, constant. I do have to wonder, because I can still think, what it would be like to be normal, to believe all of this really exists and really appriciating it, even if I had no reason to appriciate anything. But I've asked so many questions, taken every road I know, changed everything around me, and it still does not change who I am, what I do, that I cannot falter, cannot see what is clearly in front of me, and perhaps it's been there all the while, taunting me so. I know I need to change, that something needs to be fixed, but I'm not sure how to mend it, whatever it is. No one cares, no one knows, and no one particularly cares to know... And I think about their downfall, daily, instictively. I have to wonder most of all if this is what God is, if there is a God at all.
Zioko Community Member 
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