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Okay the last remains of my faith are gone!If God is so great why did he make disease? Why do I have to watch my grandma slowly slip away from me? I can handle a lot of things but this I can't. My grandma's been dying for the past five years, now she dosn't even know who I am. I try so hard to hold it together when I go to see her, when I get into the car to leave I completely fall apart.
I just found out Tony shot himself last night. I just know this is my fault, I hate myself so much right now.Why did all of this fall on me at once, I can't stand it! God is not the loving god people say he is, no he's cruel. Why else would he force us to live? He could just let us go to heaven and it would be done with. It would be so easy to just go down to the creek and never come back, but I can't do that to my brother. Damn it, your real funny God. Do you like watching my suffer in this spider web of a life you planned for me?
 H is my name · Mon Feb 09, 2009 @ 11:34pm · 4 Comments |
