My, my, my.... when was the last time I posted? Ah, a long time ago. That's sorta bad of me, isn't it? Well, I'm here to fix that problem- right here, right now!
Time for the news!
So life's been fun, chaotic, insane, depressing, arousing, amusing.... Oh, here. Let me sum it up in this picture:
Yeah. That about does it. So that's how my life has been. One big ol' slap happy "WTF" moment. The roller coaster of life is going all over the place with me. One moment I'm up, the next I'm screaming like a preteen girl as my life takes the deft defying plummet down into chaosville. There's no way I can stop it- that's what life does. There's no blueprint to how it's going to go, day by day.
My manager- the sexiest brute of a pigheaded man who is determined on making me paranoid- has done a wholly fantastic job chipping down what little confidence I have in myself. However, lately, he's turned around. Sure, he's still nasty behind my back (concocting truly epic rumors about me and badmouthing me to the other employees), but he seems a little less... harsh. Well, I should say the rumors have stopped for the most part. He's kinder to me. I think he finally realizes that, hey, even though I'm a girl who's chronically sick (and is often pushing myself way to hard to complete EVERYONE'S job there... which I probably shouldn't do), I'm doing the best I can.
Well, it's about damn time he figured that one out!
My health has been up and down, for the most part. I'm having a lot more "good" days, which is great! Really boosts me up quite a bit. This is all good, because tomorrow- Valentine's Day- is me twelve year anniversary of me getting diagnosed with Chrons. All I can say to that is: "holy s**t, that's how long I've had that"? I never reallyed considered how long that nasty bugger of a sickness has been with me. Huh...
Hannah, the dog we took in, has been strange lately. For the quick reminding low down on her past history, for five years she was both mentally and physically abused. There's signs that she's had turmoil like that- there's no denying it. We've managed to get her on the straight path but there are still some days where she, uh, how should I put this? Ah! Has "moments" where she "snaps". She'll revert back to her teeth baring, viciously snarling, jaw snapping (clenching and BITING) ways. I used to really despise her, but I've gotten sorta attached to her in a, "I still don't trust you dog, but you're an awfully adorable little cutie when you want to be". Mutual respect between an Alpha (me) and a Omega (her), so to speak.
Anyway, Hannah had a seizure a few nights ago. It was horrible. Last time I witnessed any of my animals (dogs, mainly) going through a seizure was my beloved Sheba, way back when I was nine or something. For Hannah, this is a new development that could be further proof that she was abused. Then again, the smaller the dog, the more prone they are to them.
I'm pleased to announce that Hannah is finally back to normal. It took her a few days, but all is well.
I finally got off my lazy arse and got a Deviantart account. Wow, shocker, huh? A lot of my friends have been telling me to get one for a few years now. I finally got down to business and made one up. You can access it via my main profile, right under my name. I'm so excited. I've gotten back into an artful mood, creating things left and right. To me, the world is a canvas. If I can't create something- whether with paint or in writing- then I feel utterly useless. I'm nothing more than another sack of human meat, achieving naught a thing in my life. I hate being like that. That's why I'm always splattering artwork with paint or smearing clay everywhere. The messier I get, the better.
I'm still obsessed with the Anime Soul Eater (which is influencing a lot of my art nowadays), but now I've found a new one called Ouran Host Highschool Club. Yeah. Comedy romance. ROMANCE. I can't tell you how weird it is for me to like anything romantic. My friends know I'm not a romantic loving type. Sure, I love real life romance between real couples, but I don't know. I think I'm finally opening up to the notion of romance. I used to be turned off by the flirty, sappy, bubbly and twittering lovey-dovey moments that many things have. I think I'm doing a complete 360.
And that note of "romance" brings me to a completely different path in this road of life. I'm finally becoming a different person. I never used makeup before, and I hardly wear anything besides my worn jeans, my beat up sneakers and a hoodie or something. No- I've finally become more daring, trying out things. I've been painting my nails (purple with black detailing), and becoming more confident in my movements. I tried on a short dress the other day, and experimented with how I could pull off a strange sort of flair with my clothing. I'm experimenting more. I'm becoming more daring. If someone back talks to me now, I mock and taunt back until they have no wind left. I'm getting more respect.
...Perhaps that's why the manager is nicer towards me. I showed him that I wasn't backing down (though I was still respectful and willing to work with him), and maybe he gained a little respect towards me? ...Nah.
The world is my psychological experiment, and my toy. I'm going to do everything I can to provoke some sort of reaction from everyone and everything around me. I'm kinda laughing, right now. I'm really wondering what kind of a person I've become in just the last week. I've finally become a young twenty year old female who's ready to take on the world and study humanity's emotions.
...God, can life get any weirder? I'm completely at shock. What's going on? Good, bad, I'm stuck. I'm watching the world whiz by me, and my mouth is agape in shock. I'm being hated and respected by my manager. My health is all over the charts. Dogs having seizures, my social life is finally starting to creep up into the "okay, good" zone. I'm getting more time to myself, but at the same time I'm completely bored. I'm working less hours, but at the same time the work never ends (and neither does my paranoia). I'm becoming more girly and less tomboyish.
WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON?
heart Peace out, ya'll! heart
Community Member
I think I found out about Soul Eater before you guys. I have a website that is updated weekly with new episodes from it: w w w. anime-media. c o m (no spaces, just want to be safe) You got me into Ouran Host Club. I was surprised when I saw you start to favorite all those Ouran videos, because, before I started watching it, I already knew it was a romance comedy. Two things I knew you didn't like.
I'm also getting better with my art. I recently referenced a picture, and the style is just so easy now. I have 3-5 pages in my sketchbook with the style involving some of my OCs I've made recently.
It's good that your manager is being nicer to you now. Now me and the others won't have to give him death threats! Hehe~!
Outgoing, I like that. I mostly do that with food. I recently tried raw octopus and I liked it.
I've been working more on Disgaea DS. I recently got the class Knight and Ronin, so I have to train them and then go against Midboss the 2nd time you meet him. I also got a rocking case for my DS! Can't wait to show you!