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This is a poem Kinda explaining me a little redface

Stuck in this seat.
Shaking everywhere
We need air to breath,
But mine won't come out
Shaking,
Suffering,
My body is out of control
Falling into a deeper fear.
Of losing.
Losing myself.
What happened to me?
My smile is plastic
Like a Barbies
I'm an over-sized,
Acne faced,
Oiled Barbie.
The second attack comes.
I try to hold it in.
But the shaking doesn't stop.
I'm forsing myself to breath
He looks over
And my heart goes into hyper drive
Great, just another thing out of control
The clock strikes 2:40
The bell goes off
School is finally over.
Yet I'm stuck in my seat
Barbies mask comes out
I say "I'm Fine"
with a 'smile' on my face
my mucles tenced
What happened to me?
My friends disappear,
My family is gone
I refuse to cut.
Why would I?
I'm numb enough
I don't need to prove it with a knife
These scratches,
Scars,
Bruices,
Are from me being clumsy
Not to make me,
"Feel alive"
I already know
I'm an empty shell
What happened to me?
I'm deppresed.
My nose into a book
My head is going numb
It feels like I'm falling
Yet no one will catch me
The hair over my eyes,
The black in my clothes
Makes people not Friendly
I bacame anti-social
What happened to me?