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Mood: cry

Listening to: My heart will go on

Reading: What I Type.

Watching: Masterpiece Mystery!

Playing: My Heart Will Go On

Eating: Nothing

Drinking: Nothing


When you fall down I'll be there to pick you up from the ground.
And hold on tight telling you " Everything will be alright."

Getting into a fight with someone you love is a diffucult, heartbreaking, problem stiuitation for anyone.
I have issues and I'll admit. My Issues are a HUGE deal.

When I started dating I found it to be very easy...but its not.

I've been dating since I was 13 years old and let me tell you something.

After dating 50 something guys. Who are all TALK, LIARs, Cheaters, Players, Assholes, Selfish, Jerks, Etc.

I've found this one guy who loves me for me, and understands me and only twice he lied and cheated on, coming back saying sorry, and hasn't done any of that s**t to me again.

I honestly loved him and him so many things that only close family and VERY close friends know about me.
But now....

It's all coming down when not once but very few times I told him about I wasn't a virgin. And told him I've made stupid mistakes when I was younger.

But now I hurt both him and me. Him, mostly because I told him private things that are meant not to be told.

I don't know why I'm writing this, let alone typing it sorry a** paper...Journal website thing on here to the world.

But I love him and I think..Its time we both have space. Even if its for a long time seening as I keep hurting him, and Some people that I love very dearly in my life.

Only once I nearly killed myself, And Six times when I was very sick and my body was weak, leaving my life in the hands of nurses of doctors...I lost my life.

People in the neighbor and the city I live in say I have a beautiful soul. But I say Its a very ugly and warp soul I contain in my body.

I think alot that sometimes I don't deserved to live, Let alone being born to a whore of a mother and a druggie a*****e mafia father ( No lie people. )

but thankfully I live with my grandparents who took me in. Not just me but my One year behind 15 years old younger brother. People say its a miracle That I'm nothing like my biologicial parents. And I'm sane.

Truth be told.
<.<
>.>

I'm a healthly leveled of insanity. XD

If I'm a problem to anyone reading this now.
By all means. Comment on how stupid Idotic, Selfish and everything above with that topic you people can think of and say it straight to me.

Thank you for reading this. now comment or whatever so that we both get on with our lives.