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My my my..
It has been long.
Days of old and young have passed me by, given new scars, bore new fruit.
Taken these individual virginity's of hollow life.
I won't be continuing my cradled story i began long ago in the dusty remnants of my other post. How silly do you think i am? Silly as a badger?
Well, technically, there is nothing silly about an enraged badger let me tell you..
But i digress.
Instead, i will be working towards making you laugh with my day to day happenings.
Whoever the ******** you are.
And i say ******** in a loving way. Like when you kick your ******** dog in the head for hopping up on the counter and pulling that sandwich down that you've just taken the ********-
GODDAMN THAT STUPID DOG! BAH HAH AND ROAR!!!
.....
Now then, where was i?
Yes, yes. *Pops in corncob pipe and puffs once, twice, exhales*
Let me talk about women.
---
Women. Dictionary dot com describes the definition of woman as:
wom⋅an
  /ˈwʊmən/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [woom-uhn] Show IPA noun, plural wom⋅en  /ˈwɪmɪn/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [wim-in] Show IPA , verb, adjective
–noun
1. the female human being (distinguished from man ).
2. an adult female person.
3. a female attendant to a lady of rank.
4. a wife.
5. the nature, characteristics, or feelings often attributed to women; womanliness.
6. a sweetheart or paramour; mistress.
7. a female employee or representative: A woman from the real estate agency called.
8. a female person who cleans house, cooks, etc.; housekeeper: The woman will be in to clean today.
9. women collectively: Woman is no longer subordinate to man.

Alright. Now lets take the parts i think are ridiculous and cross them out shall we gents and ladies? Also i will be putting in bold what truly makes sense, and will possibly, no, will make the men of the audience adulate with rancorous laughter.
That, or fart a lot and hope no one heard nor smelled the tasty treat sitting in their trousers now.

wom⋅an
  /ˈwʊmən/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [woom-uhn] Show IPA noun, plural wom⋅en  /ˈwɪmɪn/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [wim-in] Show IPA , verb, adjective
–noun
1. the female human being (distinguished from man ).
2. an adult female person.
3. a female attendant to a lady of rank.
4. a wife.
5. the nature, characteristics, or feelings often attributed to women; womanliness.
6. a sweetheart or paramour; mistress.
7. a female employee or representative: A woman from the real estate agency called.
8. a female person who cleans house, cooks, etc.; housekeeper: The woman will be in to clean today.
9. women collectively: Woman is no longer subordinate to man.

Now then. As you have seen, (Or adjusted your little glasses, yes i see you there, get contacts old sport) or delved in the facts of what I've done, you'll notice that i'm incredibly sexist.
HARDEHARHAR.
(I'm not really but bear this as every great artist has. Vincent Van Gogh cut his ear off for christ sake! Do you know how bad that hurt? Worse then a kick to the crotchel area i assure you lads. Bear it.)
Women a social class? SPARE ME. Women are the stepping stones to the greater future of men. The only way women will ever be better then men is if they grow a hairy sack between their legs and start thrusting their hips hard enough to eventually sprout a p***s.
Men simply rule this planet.
Women as wives? More like harlots who use their husbands well earned money, no doubt earned in doing ultra-manly things like killing animals by hand mangling, on useless garbage and clothing...
And the day a woman is in office as president is the day i take up large, not quite efficient spear chucking lessons.
I'm looking at you Hillary.

-No longer the Dark Man, but ever dashing,
The Gentleman