I'm not sure how to start this one. Indecisiveness seems to be my king. It's odd how I can be uncertain about making many decisions, but there's few that are just no brainers.
I am in a soup of emotions. I can feel things on two opposite sides of the spectrum. I can feel a joy inside from thoughts of having your head rest on my chest while your hand plays with my chest hair what it would like it to be if it was a reality, yet I can fell sick to my stomach from... other things. I'm afraid that to get rid of the later one , I have to get rid of the first one as well. I'd like to hold on to the joy.
(I keep hearing your name today... I wrote that with a smile.)
I'm afraid I won't be able to feel, because I've been able to feel less and less lately. I like feeling, even if it's hurts. I'd never though I would say I like being in pain, but I am right now. I like being in pain because I can appreciate joy and happiness much more when I can tell the contrast. I can write poetry and I want to be able to express myself, but I am afraid that the only thing I will be able to write about in time is how apathetic I am to everything because I'll be an emotionless brick.
 niatsu · Wed Aug 26, 2009 @ 04:01am · 0 Comments |
