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Wow, I never really kept up with journals anyways...
Yea, my birthday was like last week; December 17th. I'm 19 now, yay. But like my friend said, nothing really happens around 19 or 20, its like limbo. I can't really say that I am sad that I cant drink, b/c I really dont want to anyways and when I do I cant handle it and I get really sick. I have started to notice small things in life and I am slowly beginning to enjoy it all. I saw old friends at school and made a few new ones and even though life really sucks sometimes, as long as you have someone to help you through the hardships, everything is fine. I hope that the mistakes that I have made in the past could ever be forgiven, but if some cannot maybe that was the big plan all along. Ever since my cousin passed away last year; I really didn't believe that there is someone up there... I still don't, but it helps to believe that someone is watching your back always even if you cant see it. I did an illegal drug not too long ago and it was laced with an even more serious illegal drug (I had no idea it was laced, but I should not have done it in the first place) But I spazzed out and I thought I was dying, and during that hour it took for me to stopp trippin balls, I hoped that if I did die, I would be able to see my cousin again. My cousin died from the same stuff that I took, so maybe it had been a sign that I needed to clean up my act and go back to the more "innocent" version of myself. biggrin
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