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Poems
Tears Of The Past
Tears Of The Past

Clear water falls from my eyes,
Deep pain comes from the lies.
Heart ache and sorrow,
With this hurt, feels like no tomorrow,

I feel the joy and the love from so long ago,
But it fails to reach me.
Now my heart cries and sobbs from the pain,
The happiness and love does not show.

My head is spining,
My hearts broken,
My love is stuck in the past.
Im crying for the past.

My eyes red and my heart pale, these are tears of the past.






User Comments: [3]
Silencematters
Community Member





Sun Oct 25, 2009 @ 05:39pm


Aww its so beautiful. It sounds simler to a song i was working on. This was very well done. I love it. It flows easily and its relatable. good job.


Foxless
Community Member





Wed Dec 16, 2009 @ 12:07am


wow line 6 and 7 are really deep you knows how to use ur words ^_^ awsome mind lol


Peasley
Community Member





Fri Jan 01, 2010 @ 07:44pm


Might I suggest working on the meter for lines three and four? Either add more syllables to line three, or take away some in line four. Also, in the second stanza, the rhyming scheme between line five and eight is too far apart to be noticed when read aloud.
I love the poem, though. Once again, I really like the way you ended it. The final line is really deep. Keep it up! ^^


User Comments: [3]
 
 
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