People come and go, life is given and taken without much thought behind it by those who take it. People say that you dont realize waht you have until its taken away from you, but do we truly listen to those words of wisdom or do we let them slid into the back of our mind without true thought put into the meaning behind them? Do we ignore them just like the warnings of others when we are blind by emotions? Demons haunt the night and things that happen that cant be explained are placed in the back corner of peoples minds as illusions and mistaken information. I've lost so much. So many people that mean so much to me. Little things that pass me by when I'm in the store or at a party remind me of these people and I drown myself in sorrow hoping that it will fade away. I dont want to face any of my problems. I want my sadness to fade away... Even if its replaced with eternal emptiness. If thats the cost then so be it. But that will never be granted and part of me never wants it. People ask me how I can smile when those that I love have turned away or passed away... I dont know really... maybe my inner mind is saying over and over again. "I'll see them again." But either way, when they arent looking, my eyes are filled with unforgettable tears that will never fade from my cheeks. She's gone and she isnt coming back, she's already six feet under and I cant bring back her soul, but thats okay, I can still sit by her grave and talk to her like she's right by me smiling and nodding. I wish I could have repaid her for her kindness to me. If only I could have reached her with my beliefs and morals before she died. Maybe then she would still be alive. Maybe if I had tried to be closer to her and moved when she still drew breath from this earthly world we are placed upon. Why did you take her from us Lord? We loved her so much and cared about her more then she could ever understand. I only knew her for a small amount of time but I treasured that time like it was pure gold, a mountain of gold and silver. Like a pirate would all the riches in the world. The way a samurai treasures its swords.
Brittany Godley
Rest In Peace Erica Hicks. We miss you and love you. 1989- Oct 3. 2005
I dont know why I can smile when someone dies.... But that doesnt mean I dont cry. I once thought I had lost someone I loved more then life itself, and I cried then, no smile could be found on my face or even in my heart and soul. I'm not completely heartless, I just know I'll see everyone again. But I dont want someone I love to die of the same mistake as Erica. I dont want to lose a friend to drugs again. I couldnt protect her and thats what hurts most. I couldnt keep to my promise of protecting those I care about. God it hurts like hell........
Mistress Integra · Mon Jan 30, 2006 @ 07:29am · 1 Comments |