it is ok to feel like that i have had those same problems. U just need to find who u truly are and ur friends will still love you for u it is just hard to do. Girl at least u figured drugs/drinking are not the answer because i thought it was and it messed up my life ive just recently begun to work my way back to reality. pain is a part of life and u dont need to worry too much because u have friends to talk to. even though u barely know me u can always message me if u want to talk bout anything.