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The not-so-private journal of a not-so-normal person.
Enjoy the complementary Narwhals, cheese, and boring.
Break up
color o teh day:
faded and tainted gold

"I love you," she said, the words tasting alien and wrong in her mouth. They were like old friends who she just didnt know anymore. He smiled, his eyes giving away his worry that the love was only a mask. He knew. He knew that she was going to break him. Smash him on the floor untill he was a million little pieces, and his heart was a thing that once was. But he hung onto the three little words, and so did she. They both hoped and dreamed that it was true. But if wishes were fishes then man would never starve.
She bot up from the play structure to join her friends on the little kids spring toys. Even though they were way too old for anything like that it was still her favorite part about the park. The little tugboat that rocked to and fro, back and forth. None of them could fit in it so they just stood or squatted. Out of the corner of her eye she saw him pull up his hood again, covering the lips that he was begging her to kiss. And oh, did she know that he was begging.
He was always kissing her cheek or forehead, asking for it. Her hand, the top of her head, anything kissable that he could reach. He wanted a confirmation kiss that she still loved him, but he wasn't getting it, and he was worried. He sat there in the tube, and she sat there on the spring race car. She catted with her friends, threw pine cones at a stupid squirrel, climbed trees and ran around. He sat. Listening to his iPod and texting. There was nothing from her to him.
She sat by him now, on the bench that he had chosen. "what's wrong?" he said. "i have a bad feeling about today"
"nothing's wrong" she lied.
"are you sure?"
"yeah. nothing." Silence went by as did time.
"are you thinking about breaking up with me?" he said finally.
"maybe..." she said. she hated his reaction. His whole body slumped. His face crumpled. His eyes closed. It was all downhill from here for him. "there's just nothing left for me," she said, "love's a two way thing" He said nothing, or at least she didnt remember him saying anything. he sat and texted and listened to his iPod. like always. after a while he apologized for not talking. She walked away.
Back at the play structure she sits behind him. draping her arms over his chest. He's crying, she can feel it. She hates to make it worse but all the same she reaches around her neck and undoes the necklace that he gave her. "He who holds the key can unlock my heart" it read in tiny lettering. In the side of the heart was a key-shaped hole. You can only guess who had the key. Who never took it off. She played with it for a minuet, looking at it for one last time. She knew that he was looking at her with the reflection from his iPod. She layed the heart down on his stomach, and he froze for a second. She kissed his head and left.
Her friend went to talk to him, and she stood behind, listening. The words were whispered, she couldn't hear. After that she walked to him, and layed her head on his chest, feeling his whole body shake with sobs. He said that he'll always love her. She's the only one for him. She there are plenty of fish in the sea and he'll find somebody else. She said she was sorry. she wished that she loved him so that she didnt have to see him like this- broken and dying inside.
After a while he walked away, to go home. She ran after him, asked what the hell he was doing. "Going home. I cant stand it anymore, i need to leave" Was this goodbye? "I dont know, you're the one doing this" he was still crying.
"well, then i guess it's over then." she said. He moaned no. she hugged him. one last warm hug. She could hear him moaning and sobbing. She broke the hug and he turned to the fence for support. Collapsing against it he shook with sobs. She helped him up, gave him one last hug, and left forever.
now she writes from the soul with tears in her eyes and a hole in her heart. He loved me, and I killed him. I'm so sorry, Zach.

Have I made the wrong choice agian?

Community Member
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