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Hola! Como estas?
Why, Yes. That is a Mark emote, lolz. Made tons of emotes while away from Gaia.
Friends on HHP {Forum} use them weekly/daily =^^=
Here's what I've gotten done while off of Gaia...
Spat + Harmony = <3
{WAI}
I also did tons of art from my deviantART....
For those who are not stalking me on there:
[x]
[x]
[x]
[x]
[x]
[x]
[x]
[x]
[x]
[x]
[x]
OMFG sexy...
Plus more...
He's just too gorgeous
[x]
And my desk area has been changing with time...
These pics arent even recent, lol.
[x]
[x]
[x]
Plushies:
Mark, Harmony, and Leo
I appreciate your time looking at all of that, lol. whee
I am now on break for summer from College. I will not return to class until late August.
I'll be online a bit more often, but since majority of my close friends have 'abandoned' Gaia.... STIX & AiC...
I have not much to do on here.
I will try to remember Gaia and log on more. I apologize for 'weaning' off of Gaia, lol.
I'm not certain, but I may take trips this summer. I over-heard my dad and brother talking about Anime-Expo.... to be honest; it turns me off. I see no interest in Anime anymore, manga as well. Sure I may draw stuff, but watching/reading new stuff doesnt do it for me any longer. Most recent thing I did was re-read Dramacon, a few pages here or there. That only hurt me... Anyway, so I told my brother, I'm not really interested in going, but if they go; I guess I'll go. I even muttered under my breath to him; "I dont like going much when you keep ditching me", I said this because everytime we go, he thinks I'm meeting up with some guy...
Not only that, but memories are forever burned onto my mind, which I dont fine too pleasing. Only time I enjoy anime conventions are 1) going shopping in the dealer's room 2) Seeing Gaia Panels
Seems ever since my first con, I'm always rather nervous and can never fully enjoy myself until I'm comfortable at a con. Well, you'd feel the same if you were completely on your own when you keep being ditched lol.
My other trip; I have no idea. I dont even have any money to go.
It'll be 50% on my own until I arrive to the destination, but unsure.
Now that I am free for the summer, WAI will be updated quite a lot.
I've been working with animation and videos these past few days, and it's real amazing to see my work progress =^^=
But... I'm still suffering when it comes to the 'host' of WAI...
I still struggle updating WAI, I can never put up the things I want, new features, new pages, blech. Many reasons for me to leave STT. I ask nicely and patiently to have them put up new things, or fix errors, and it sits for days. I've practically given up on updating CC {Crystal Clear}. When I update CC, it sits for days.
I have to go run and tell someone to post up the new update.
Then I hear from EVERYONE; "You should be able to update" "If things dont work out, go make your own site for WAI!!" :sigh: ..... :deepsigh:
Honestly, I do not want to leave STT, but if it gets too bothersome... I may end up leaving eventually.... ._.
I'm staying strong and sticking around for the moment. I dont think its anyone's fault; well; I guess my own for trying to defend myself back when I used to update comics and things turned against me.
What's done is done. Time to move forward, yes?
This one video a friend is working on.... really speaks to me...
http://www.swfcabin.com/open/1273644390
The song, the animation... What also makes me feel so emotional; is this guy making that video for a girl.
When I was in a relationship, I know how he couldnt make me such things, but that guy is making that video from the heart...
That was all I ever had wanted. For something to be made and done with love coming from the heart; and given to me.
I was told 'Sorry for Everything'.... I do forgive.... but remembering our old conversations... how you didnt like it when I talked about a future about us... how only wanted, wanted, wanted... how you hurt me.... It brings me down...
This new guy I was falling for; he likes the things I do/make, he appreciates the things I make 'out of love'. I love it when he... |D sings to me... how he talks to me... Its how I fell for him ._.
Lately I have been torn a part between love. lol why am I typing this; I'm so dead tired and careless at the moment.
but deep down inside, I still.... somehow have a feeling theres some good in you, that you will/have change(d). You dont know how much I fear that I'll make the wrong decision and pick the wrong guy and miss out on you. That if I go to this other guy, I'll only end up used and will never be loved again. I keep seeing the rights and wrongs.... but never a conclusion, I can never decide, I can never pick.
lol I'm just typing out my thoughts *___*
I would have to be... confronted by one or the other in order to see how they really feel about me. If you walked up to me and told me how much I meant to you; only then I would realize and wake up.
But know this, I certainly do not want to go back to what it used to be. Misunderstanding 24/7, fights, debates, hating states, never-going-anywhere-in-life....
I.. I left you because of that. What really ticked me off on our final day was, "I dont want to get married til I'm in my 30s". .... Seriously? What? You plan on going no where until then?
I really dont plan to live with my parents when I'm in my 30s.
Seeing you could never want to *dream* about being together, never wanting to discuss a future together, it drove me away. Then about compromises and sacrifices...
You may not know it, but I sacrificed quite a lot to try and be with you. I did plenty of foolish mistakes in my own life to be with you. You'd never sacrifice something that meant dear to you as I did for you. To tell the truth, I hated you online. It was never fun online. There was hardly any love coming from YOU online. It was always me me me me me doing it all. I'd make things from the heart and send them to you. I'd say things, I'd *send* stuff.... yet you wouldnt, all you did was want want and never give give. When you didnt want, and I gave willingly... it meant nothing to you.
I remember making this....
You saw the image, and the rest; all you said was "Can you sum it up for me? I dont want to read it all! D:" {Not word for word, but pretty darn close enough}
I bet even right now... XD He'd probably see this entry, read a bit, then get bored and too lazy to read all of this. *sigh* Even last month, I wanted him to do something drastic in order to get me back. He joked a bit, and then asked for me to tell him what did I want in order to make it happen. Mmm, some surprise.
I know you're sorry. I'm sorry as well... (Though you never 'believe' my sorrys)
I just want you to know what you want in your life. I dont wanna try to be something, and go no where.... I think of us with this song.
"So I'm letting you go, I'll set you free... " "And when you see what you need to see... When you find you... Come back to me..."
It works either way for me. Whether I'm letting him go, or he's letting me go.
I felt like I only loved you in person/irl. The whole online dating was nothing.
It was only fun, loving, and usually peaceful when I was with you, at your side.
Hmm, "Letting it all out" works. I feel better typing up this storm lol.
I'm probably over-working myself, most likely getting all worked up for nothing.
*shrugs* Anyway.... as for the rest (or the remainder) of my good friends...
I hope you are all doing well. Hope you have a swell summer =^^=
Dont be afraid to talk to me. Just because I'm offline quite often, doesnt mean you cant talk to me. I do come online daily; it may be brief, but I still log on.
Peace!
Hola! Como estas?
Why, Yes. That is a Mark emote, lolz. Made tons of emotes while away from Gaia.
Friends on HHP {Forum} use them weekly/daily =^^=
Here's what I've gotten done while off of Gaia...
Spat + Harmony = <3
{WAI}
I also did tons of art from my deviantART....
For those who are not stalking me on there:
[x]
[x]
[x]
[x]
[x]
[x]
[x]
[x]
[x]
[x]
[x]
OMFG sexy...
Plus more...
He's just too gorgeous
[x]
And my desk area has been changing with time...
These pics arent even recent, lol.
[x]
[x]
[x]
Plushies:
Mark, Harmony, and Leo
I appreciate your time looking at all of that, lol. whee
I am now on break for summer from College. I will not return to class until late August.
I'll be online a bit more often, but since majority of my close friends have 'abandoned' Gaia.... STIX & AiC...
I have not much to do on here.
I will try to remember Gaia and log on more. I apologize for 'weaning' off of Gaia, lol.
I'm not certain, but I may take trips this summer. I over-heard my dad and brother talking about Anime-Expo.... to be honest; it turns me off. I see no interest in Anime anymore, manga as well. Sure I may draw stuff, but watching/reading new stuff doesnt do it for me any longer. Most recent thing I did was re-read Dramacon, a few pages here or there. That only hurt me... Anyway, so I told my brother, I'm not really interested in going, but if they go; I guess I'll go. I even muttered under my breath to him; "I dont like going much when you keep ditching me", I said this because everytime we go, he thinks I'm meeting up with some guy...
Not only that, but memories are forever burned onto my mind, which I dont fine too pleasing. Only time I enjoy anime conventions are 1) going shopping in the dealer's room 2) Seeing Gaia Panels
Seems ever since my first con, I'm always rather nervous and can never fully enjoy myself until I'm comfortable at a con. Well, you'd feel the same if you were completely on your own when you keep being ditched lol.
My other trip; I have no idea. I dont even have any money to go.
It'll be 50% on my own until I arrive to the destination, but unsure.
Now that I am free for the summer, WAI will be updated quite a lot.
I've been working with animation and videos these past few days, and it's real amazing to see my work progress =^^=
But... I'm still suffering when it comes to the 'host' of WAI...
I still struggle updating WAI, I can never put up the things I want, new features, new pages, blech. Many reasons for me to leave STT. I ask nicely and patiently to have them put up new things, or fix errors, and it sits for days. I've practically given up on updating CC {Crystal Clear}. When I update CC, it sits for days.
I have to go run and tell someone to post up the new update.
Then I hear from EVERYONE; "You should be able to update" "If things dont work out, go make your own site for WAI!!" :sigh: ..... :deepsigh:
Honestly, I do not want to leave STT, but if it gets too bothersome... I may end up leaving eventually.... ._.
I'm staying strong and sticking around for the moment. I dont think its anyone's fault; well; I guess my own for trying to defend myself back when I used to update comics and things turned against me.
What's done is done. Time to move forward, yes?
This one video a friend is working on.... really speaks to me...
http://www.swfcabin.com/open/1273644390
The song, the animation... What also makes me feel so emotional; is this guy making that video for a girl.
When I was in a relationship, I know how he couldnt make me such things, but that guy is making that video from the heart...
That was all I ever had wanted. For something to be made and done with love coming from the heart; and given to me.
I was told 'Sorry for Everything'.... I do forgive.... but remembering our old conversations... how you didnt like it when I talked about a future about us... how only wanted, wanted, wanted... how you hurt me.... It brings me down...
This new guy I was falling for; he likes the things I do/make, he appreciates the things I make 'out of love'. I love it when he... |D sings to me... how he talks to me... Its how I fell for him ._.
Lately I have been torn a part between love. lol why am I typing this; I'm so dead tired and careless at the moment.
but deep down inside, I still.... somehow have a feeling theres some good in you, that you will/have change(d). You dont know how much I fear that I'll make the wrong decision and pick the wrong guy and miss out on you. That if I go to this other guy, I'll only end up used and will never be loved again. I keep seeing the rights and wrongs.... but never a conclusion, I can never decide, I can never pick.
lol I'm just typing out my thoughts *___*
I would have to be... confronted by one or the other in order to see how they really feel about me. If you walked up to me and told me how much I meant to you; only then I would realize and wake up.
But know this, I certainly do not want to go back to what it used to be. Misunderstanding 24/7, fights, debates, hating states, never-going-anywhere-in-life....
I.. I left you because of that. What really ticked me off on our final day was, "I dont want to get married til I'm in my 30s". .... Seriously? What? You plan on going no where until then?
I really dont plan to live with my parents when I'm in my 30s.
Seeing you could never want to *dream* about being together, never wanting to discuss a future together, it drove me away. Then about compromises and sacrifices...
You may not know it, but I sacrificed quite a lot to try and be with you. I did plenty of foolish mistakes in my own life to be with you. You'd never sacrifice something that meant dear to you as I did for you. To tell the truth, I hated you online. It was never fun online. There was hardly any love coming from YOU online. It was always me me me me me doing it all. I'd make things from the heart and send them to you. I'd say things, I'd *send* stuff.... yet you wouldnt, all you did was want want and never give give. When you didnt want, and I gave willingly... it meant nothing to you.
I remember making this....
You saw the image, and the rest; all you said was "Can you sum it up for me? I dont want to read it all! D:" {Not word for word, but pretty darn close enough}
I bet even right now... XD He'd probably see this entry, read a bit, then get bored and too lazy to read all of this. *sigh* Even last month, I wanted him to do something drastic in order to get me back. He joked a bit, and then asked for me to tell him what did I want in order to make it happen. Mmm, some surprise.
I know you're sorry. I'm sorry as well... (Though you never 'believe' my sorrys)
I just want you to know what you want in your life. I dont wanna try to be something, and go no where.... I think of us with this song.
"So I'm letting you go, I'll set you free... " "And when you see what you need to see... When you find you... Come back to me..."
It works either way for me. Whether I'm letting him go, or he's letting me go.
I felt like I only loved you in person/irl. The whole online dating was nothing.
It was only fun, loving, and usually peaceful when I was with you, at your side.
Hmm, "Letting it all out" works. I feel better typing up this storm lol.
I'm probably over-working myself, most likely getting all worked up for nothing.
*shrugs* Anyway.... as for the rest (or the remainder) of my good friends...
I hope you are all doing well. Hope you have a swell summer =^^=
Dont be afraid to talk to me. Just because I'm offline quite often, doesnt mean you cant talk to me. I do come online daily; it may be brief, but I still log on.
Peace!
