I feel everything shattering around me slowly, as if I am trying too hard. I want to retract into my mind and
avoid all the screams directed at me, those sounds my mind makes me believe are real, haunting me,
frightening me, telling me how much of a monster I am. AM I slowly tearing myself apart..? I feel like
everything is out of place, like I’ve done something wrong to disturb some balance in the universe. I wish to
be held in his arms told everything will be okay, but I do not push it, for I know it would by fate, somehow,
push him away. I am to confide in these stuffed beasts for now, and their words have faded from
compliments of sheer kindness to utter insults and cruel commentary. Occasions still arise when I hear soft
spoken sweet nothings from the voices, but I know it’s simply in my head, my mind trying to delude me into
a false security…These voices, me talking to myself, its all just a substitute for real people that shows how
lonely I truly feel. Kida makes it seem so much better… he makes me feel like maybe somehow I can be
something of importance. I don’t know how to explain it sometimes, but he is always the one telling me
things will turn out okay. He may not be physically with me, but he gives me so much, he uplifts me and my
spirits, I can feel him spiritually almost all the time, I feel his pain, his sorrow, his happiness, his
annoyance, and every last emotion and pain he feels. I know its silly but somehow he and I are connected,
and I hate when I make him feel pain, I feel both our pain then… that overbearing pain is so full of sadness
and hurt, it makes me wish to erase all the unhappiness from him, One day I hope to give that gift to him. I
would rather take all my happiness and replace it with his sorrow, so that he could be completely happy all
the time. I would give up my being for him, I know its going a bit far when I say so, but he would do the
same, so there is nothing wrong with what I say. I love him… and I will do whatever it takes to make him
happy, I will change myself, I will do anything he wants, I will prove to the world I can be a perfect wife to
Kida and that we are prefect for one another! I will stay strong though all of out pain and I will never give up
on our love until the day I die, I will, just to see him smile genuinely at me. Kida… I love you.
avoid all the screams directed at me, those sounds my mind makes me believe are real, haunting me,
frightening me, telling me how much of a monster I am. AM I slowly tearing myself apart..? I feel like
everything is out of place, like I’ve done something wrong to disturb some balance in the universe. I wish to
be held in his arms told everything will be okay, but I do not push it, for I know it would by fate, somehow,
push him away. I am to confide in these stuffed beasts for now, and their words have faded from
compliments of sheer kindness to utter insults and cruel commentary. Occasions still arise when I hear soft
spoken sweet nothings from the voices, but I know it’s simply in my head, my mind trying to delude me into
a false security…These voices, me talking to myself, its all just a substitute for real people that shows how
lonely I truly feel. Kida makes it seem so much better… he makes me feel like maybe somehow I can be
something of importance. I don’t know how to explain it sometimes, but he is always the one telling me
things will turn out okay. He may not be physically with me, but he gives me so much, he uplifts me and my
spirits, I can feel him spiritually almost all the time, I feel his pain, his sorrow, his happiness, his
annoyance, and every last emotion and pain he feels. I know its silly but somehow he and I are connected,
and I hate when I make him feel pain, I feel both our pain then… that overbearing pain is so full of sadness
and hurt, it makes me wish to erase all the unhappiness from him, One day I hope to give that gift to him. I
would rather take all my happiness and replace it with his sorrow, so that he could be completely happy all
the time. I would give up my being for him, I know its going a bit far when I say so, but he would do the
same, so there is nothing wrong with what I say. I love him… and I will do whatever it takes to make him
happy, I will change myself, I will do anything he wants, I will prove to the world I can be a perfect wife to
Kida and that we are prefect for one another! I will stay strong though all of out pain and I will never give up
on our love until the day I die, I will, just to see him smile genuinely at me. Kida… I love you.
