cant believe im 15.....
only one more year untill i can drive.....
then get a job.....
then move out and have to live on my own.....
and move on with my life.
not looking forward to it. the being out of the house part, yes. loving the idea. the rest? i'll pass thanks.
Dont know why i write in these, i dont even read them. then again i dont wite them to be read. i write them beacuse psycologists say its good for ones psyche. everyone knows my psyche needs as much help as it can get.
anyways......found out how true Cre's words about vemily were.....she is textbook psycho. an organized, methodical, psycho.
ugh. got a $30 amazon gift card for my birthday....i bought 5 MP3's which totaled bout $6-7.....and have no idea what to do with the rest. I'm more than a little hesitant to order something that will have to be mailed. feels weird giving my address out to the net. which is completly pointless, and irrational. i mean my family has my pic, phone and address all over the net on all kinds of sites, so my hesitation is unfounded. completly stupid. I know this. yet i still hesitate. i still cant give out. even though you can go to my mum's profile which is linked to mine to get our address......
i know that.
and still i cant.
im hopeless arent i?
well if somebody is actually reading this and has read this far, then im a better writer than i thought and they wanted to, they are was too curious, or way to bored.......or they are digging for information weither on me, or for some other purpose.
if the latter is the case, go away. feels creepy thinking someone is digging info on me. and im not one to participate in statistics.
......
wow. i just threatened, and ranted aginst thin-air. something that isnt there and probabably never will be.
....
im totally hopeless. funny how i can get out of my deppression bout a month or two ago, yet sound more deppressed eh? maybe its just beacuse i admit stuff now. i dont try to hide form everything about me hoping it'll go away or change conviently. of course i still run from things. like growing up, being a child, having crushes or dating, deathnote and capital punishment, my taste and distaste to blood, people.......the list is actually very long. but much shorter now.
 BSPBleach · Tue Dec 21, 2010 @ 09:03am · 1 Comments |
