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I am a very depressed individual. I know I am. I have legitimate reasons to be depressed. There are such horrors that happened in my childhood that I still can't talk about. I am very physically ill. My ex left me at the hospital and never came back, I with nothing, and didn't care if I died. No one wants to listen to me vent about being depressed either. Their ears only perk when I say "suicide" and then they only want to convince me not to do it. They don't listen to why I would want to. I am all alone irl and I'm pretty sure if I died my body would be looked at as a burden, like, "that girl died and now I have to clean it up. What a bother."

My death wouldn't mean a thing. Friends online would never know because who would tell them? My family would be sad, but they know its coming (from illness or from suicide, whichever comes first).

I would be singing until I couldn't sing anymore as I watched my blood spill onto the white sheets of my bed. Music would be pumping into my brain. I will never reveal who I would be listening to as I committed suicide. Its disrespectful to the artists.

I do want suicide but I am a coward. Though the coward in me falls down more and more every time I get suicidal nowadays. There's just too much. I feel like nothing good will ever happen to me. Just horrible things. These are all cliches that suicidal people say, but...they're cliches for a reason.