WOW it has been a long a** time since i made a journal entry...so Me and joshua didn't work out....but he did take my virginity. he broke up with me because I had cut myself...that was back in july. I then quickly fell for this ******** a** hole Brandon...did a horrible thing and moved out and wasted my time money and memories on this worthless piece of s**t. I hope he burns in hell. I hate him so much...after 4 months with that d**k, im back home. finished my first semester of college and now looking for a new car...i wreck poor old betsy back in august...a s**t load of stress with insurance and court now sad a lot of things have change. even i have changed....
i am now with this really cool guy named Richard...Unlike the last 2 guys, he has a job.
He goes to school with me and even has his own car. he is tall and skinny...and has spiky hair lol he is a bit on the talky side though not really sure if itll last long though :/ I dont feel like I think I should feel! sad I mean I like him, he is a good guy, but he doest fill my every thought... I noticed that with every other guy i felt the need to be someone im not- someone i think they want me to be
Its different with Richard. I am just myself....and its strange...i feel like we are just friends. I turned away from him when he wanted to kiss me after our first date. He held me by the hands and asked me to be his girlfriend which was kinda weird.. I guess im just not used to gentlemen.... I honestly was scared to kiss him. scared he wont be a good kisser...scared that itll make him fall for me...or even just feel...wrong. I want the moment to be right. I want to fall for him. He has already said he loves me like 3 times now.. Dx I havent said it to him, cause I dont...and I feel as though he is moving things too fast....
My sister had her baby- Landon. Born 11/23/11 time seems to be passing me by, its already 15 days till xmas and we dont even have our tree up!! I work too much... Dx
some times i wonder what it would be like to just...give up. To bad i have to much strength to find out...
All I can do is lay in bed alone, and cry. Feeling misunderstood.
Can't stop thinking about Joshua. I want him back...but he obviously is the opposite...He really turned out to be a jerk sad If only I never had cut myself....stupid habbit...
xX sunshine rAiNbOw Xx · Sat Dec 10, 2011 @ 09:32am · 0 Comments |