I've been looking through a bunch of old stuff in the closet when I got bord an hour ago and what I found broke my heart. It started with an old school picture of me when I was what seemed like I couldn't be older then a first grader, forcing a smile with a small scar on my arm showing I was just a clumsy then as I am now. But although I was faking a smile I knew back then I was happy. Then I found somthing under it.... One of those old certificates they give to kids pre-K to first grade that looked like it was from my days as a Kindergardener. It sparked alot of old memories.
" Throughout the day, Grace can be seen preforming a dance routine, singing or taking on a more dramatic role (such as needing a friend to rescue her from being blown away by the wind). She has kept us all amused by her antics and has helped to keep the class room lively!"
Back then seeing notes like that wouldn't faze me in the least but seeing it now made my day. I was such a drama llamma when I was younger and am still like that now. (But a little more quiet about it.)
But wait still, further in I found a bunch of old pictures, halloween with me dressed in a blue tutu, me passed out on New Years well before midnight, and ones of my beloved cats who had been put to sleep about a year ago at the ages of 27 and 24. I just broke my heart to see all of it.
But the reason ithad such an impact on me is that unless I find pictures of it I can't remember of it. You see something bad happend to me when I was younger, forcing me to block it out losing much of my memorie in the process. In fact I cant remember anything before the age of about 8 unless I find proff it happend like a picture or someone recalling it. Then I think about my life now and it just makes me cry. It's so bitter sweet, the effects that time has. It makes me wish for my youth but pray for my future at the same time. I know it's not like me to talk like this but it's just so odd. Now I look at the quote in my posts borrowed from Back to the Furture and it's scary how it fits in.
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Your future is what you make it so make it a good one.
