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-Confucius had his Analects and I have my journal-
I'm starting to think that people are much lonelier than they seem.
For me, I know I've always been a lone in a lot of things that I do. I'm used to it.
But when I had one on one time with this very sociable and attractive young guy, I was surprised by how lonely he was. He will always seek people so that he may never be alone.
I guess the difference between him and me is the effort. I accepted bare bone loneliness and he strives to beat it.
I will assume that I have more peace in my life. But at the ripe age of 20, shouldn't my life be chaos and self-discovery? Hardship is the opportunity to overcome. Am I cheating myself of an entirely different person by not placing myself in situations similar to my peers? What comes to thought is "But young, black women YOUR age usually have kids by now. Of course you've done the right thing by staying indoors."
I'm very awkward in social situations. I tend to resent anyone that has wronged me once, even unintentionally. I'm just high strung and it's not comfortable for when I have to be around... others. Had I gotten out of my comfort zone earlier in life, interacting with others would be easier.
Maybe I don't seek others because of a fear of failure. I ostracized myself before others could?
Now I feel I have a lot to offer a friend or even a REASONABLY prospective lovah guy/gal, but I don't know how to approach someone WITH THE INTENT to friend.
I only make friends when I'm so comfortable in a setting that I can relax.

I guess I just need to relax and try not to be creepy about it.
Sounds like good advice; though if it came from someone else, I'd laugh and forget it.

Jesus freakin' Christ I'm hungry :/





 
 
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