I'm scared, and not scared cause of something scary, scared because of the realizatoin I made recently. I recently realized the secret we share is more than that of words. I realized she has almost the same name as her, I realized she has almost the same age, the same body type, the same personality. It frightens me. I don't want this to end the same way it did in the past, yet I fear it's following the same path. We share the secret but she already promised to another. The other is a swell guy but I cannot stand the sound of his name or anything close to it. I know I shoudln't say anything to her, I know I already have. But there is more than one secret that she doesn't know of me and I fear one day soon she'll ask me about it... and i'll have to tell her. I fear... that's when everything will change. she is not a replacement or a substitute in any way, she's so much mroe than that and she's, in all honesty, my wet dream personified. She maybe knows this, or maybe doesn't yet I don't know how to go about and tell her. She makes the butterflies in my stomach flutter, she takes the words out of my mouth, she controls me with just a look and she has no idea how much power she has. I fear the day she finds out. I fear the day she asks me about my secrets. I fear the day she decides she wants more.
I fear not because it's bad, not because it's horrifying. I fear cause I know my answers are going to be yes... I haven't felt this in so long... and it's so scary to me.
Her name will go unmentioned. She will know it's hers if she finds this and reads it. She will be more than suprized to see this... yet at the same time I think she knows this. She scares me, but not in a way that makes me want to run away, not a way that makes me flee from her, but in a way i've only ever felt once before... and I love it.
Drey Malic Community Member |
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