What I probably should have done is write something on every Gaia birthday of mine but...well...I've never done one before so why bother now? Probably because all of the friends I used to know back then mostly have retired from Gaia. I see that their avatars haven't changed in years and here's mine changing almost every day. As an introvert who wants to be an extrovert, I'm undecided whether to be happy or extremely sad. Of course over the few years my trust towards Gaian decline steadily, what not with the begging and not wanting to participate in anythng but still expect gold. Its both annoying and sad.
Its kinda funny how I realized from my time in Gaia that I need to do something to achieve something! I was a chronic procrastinator (now just severe procrastinator, not much of an improve ment but still :p) and all I wanted to do was sit around, lie around and laze around; and I expect things to come to me. I thought the achievements I had prior to that entitled me to ask for things without doing anything. Guess what? Life doesn't work like that. You want something, you have to do something to get it. From a filthy poor Gaian, I finally tasted Gaia's millions of gold. Rest assured I had leveled up from the majority of Gaians who still prefer to wait for things to happen.
But I never said it was easy. I was like everybody else and I felt my first 40k when I miraculously won the aquarium lots. Man that thing is ancient. I remember that 45k being a huge amount of gold back then. I forgot what year it was but I hit the jackpot in the first month. From there on I just said to myself (and remember I was a chronic procrastinator in real life), I'm going to devote myself to this site and get my hands on those pretty items that are freaking pricy as heck! Got active in guildy, made new friends, learned how to roleplay, roleplayed till I was sick of it, got promoted to Vice captain and the captain disappears for good. In that period, I finally got the million worth of gold I wanted and finally, freaking FINALLY, after years of questing Gimpi (an item I like solely based on its background story) someone gave it to me.
Bahahahaha! You probably thought I bought it. Hahaha. I was gonna buy it but I was busy learning how to make more gold. That is where my involvement with The Gaia Exchange began. I made the stupidest mistake a super rookie at the Exchange could have ever made. I bought an item for more than the mp price. Of course before that I made the mistake of putting an item on bid then accepting the bid of 1 gold. When I think about that today, I just laugh at how silly and stupid I was. I'm not berating myself. I just came to a realization at how very important the learning process is. Some people learn things fast, some slow, and some has to make the mistake first before learning anything. And that third way, people usually learn things the fastest.
By the way, I never sold the Gimpi. I still have it till today and I treasure it very much. heck, my best Gaia friend even gifted me one, and 8th gen, and i still keep it. I love presents as I don't get them much in real life. Having said that, i am ashamed to say that I have sold a few number of presents I received in the 6 years I have been on Gaia. Back when I first joined, people kept saying that Gaian who have been Gaians for more than 5 years are considered too old for the site but what the heck. Gaia is for all ages! I told a friend once that I will never leave Gaia. I tried, a couple of years back, and look at me now. Even six months isn't enough to hold me back. I'm going to declare it once again, I will never leave Gaia unless it gets shut down (pleaseneverEVERshutdown!!!) or I die. I don't care what my future husband might think of me, but this site has become part of my life and I love it.
This reminiscing has got me thinking, I wasn't planning on writing this at all! I just meant to note at how my old friends are barely logging in anymore and it ended up being a long essay about how I made my life with Gaia. Speaking of which I didn't get to the part where I learnt my life lesson from my time in Gaia.
I'll make it short. So I said I got promoted to Vice Captain right? In real life, I was flunking classes, failing tests, not coming to classes- simply said I was a hermit. I barely left the house, I used the loopholes in the university's systemsand took advantage of them. I lived in their hostels without being re-registered as a student. I never went to classes except for my Japanese classes and I was using the tuition money my parents gave me to buy better food and stay one night at a cheap hotel on my birthday. No, I was not in a relationship and I am still a proud virgin even till today. I just wanted a change of scenery on my 21st birthday and that was what I did. I went to a hotel, spent a sad, lonely and cold night there with a small cheesecake.
My parents found out, they got me on the first flight on new year, Jan 1st, back home and I ran away. I hated life and I hated everything. That was the period I separated from Gaia. It was for about 2 months. I worked, again with not internet, made peace with my parents and returned home. I still had this crazy idea in my head that nothing will ever make me feel okay, and my parents were pushing me to study again and stuff, not that I agreed. Anyway, I worked still didn't go back to that life on the internet (Gaia that is) and then one day I went back. I remembered all the things I got for myself when I was in Gaia, I remembered that I did something and I got something. Sure I was still naive and hating my parents and all but in the end I went with their suggestion to study again. I decided to do something positive instead of destructive like what I did when I was in that other university. I want to get things, and I have to do something to get those things. Just like how I did it in Gaia.
So, I put Gaia behind just for a bit and tried focusing on my studies. Sure my Gaia life declined a little but the reward is the upgrade I got in my real life. And what more, I finally decided to do things I like and polish those skills. I got better at drawign and coloring and I have even out up my fanfictions online. I am proud. Though the fanfic thing was in my dark ages but what the heck. it happened, that is what is important. Haha
I don't think anyone will read this but in case it helps, everyone will face their dark times. Theres a saying that "someone who has never tasted defeat will never taste true victory" and I agree with this 100%. Don't be ashamed of your dark past, make it something that will fire you up presently and help you become a better person in the future. I am still mending but at least it has begun. I got into the Dean's List, am one of the top students in my class, despite my age, and I think I am finally growing up a little. I will never leave Gaia though, or my mangas, my obsession with yaoi, or my favorite ships, or my toys that I kept hidden from my mom when she threatened to destroy them, or those tripple x yaoi stuff that my mother probably knows nothing about (I probably would be forced to abandon that last one when I get married, more like IF i ever get married).
So, thats the end of my rant. I have succesfully wasted about half an hour of precious time on this rather than work on my term paper that I am supposed to submit tomorrow morning. Ahhh, the life of a student. I miss it and hate it. xD
Nick_austin90 Community Member 
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