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This is my first entry.
I have lost count of how many times I tried to keep an online blog going. Every time I create one, I get bored of it few weeks (sometimes months) later. I am an easily bored person, you see. One day you would see me flying with joy because I found something I am interested in, and the next day you would find me hate that very same thing with passion.
I like change. I enjoy change. And by change, I mean every change you can possibly imagine: change of things, taste, people, hair and even change of personality. That resulted in me hearing that I am "a difficult one" ever since I was little. Difficult to understand and keep around, they mean. I do not find myself as they say, I really don't. I consider myself very simple. I do not understand why would they say something like that to me. Just because I hate to keep something, doesn't mean that I am "difficult" and "strange".
Ironically enough, I love to keep a certain routine and schedule to follow. The way I live is the only thing I would hate to change. It is not like my life is perfect and I enjoy it so much that I would never trade it for anything; it is frankly extremely average. I merely feel safer when I know what I am going to do today and the day after and the one after. I love to have control over every little aspect in my life. That could be one of the many things I am extremely good at: control. And that is another thing people find "difficult to keep up with" about me. In all honesty, I would rather be alone and distant than be forced to be someone I am not, just for the sake of others.
Ironically enough, my number two goal is to live up to the expectations of others, even though it means that I am going to have to follow a path I never wanted to follow. (By the way, goal number one is to work until I die.)
I am beginning to think that I am schizophrenic now. It is funny how mother was the first one to point that out and only now did I notice it.
Anyway, I am getting really bored of writing this entry.