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if this doesn't turn up i will die where i sit and my friends shall have a big party and i shall leave my will:

dear (so-called) friends (jk),
i leave this will to devide my things equally.
-to danielle, i leave sweetie (she luvs u!), i leave my treasure of gum (chew it well) and i leave all my kitty toys.....
-to becca, i leave, all my wierd things that are amusing when ur bored (i know u need more) and the bob family (just don't fart on him cry )
-to lisa, i leave betsey (since u luv her smallness so much), my sparkly things (do i have any?) and i would give u the bird nest, but it's not mine to give away (maybe u can bird-nap it...)
-to christina i leave the room, it is now urs...... by urself, let ur doggies abduct it, but iu warn u if u ever get a bf i will haunt him and u espicially if u start doin' stuff in the room....On MY SIDE!!!!
i would like to thank u for ur time and may u live long, healthy, happy, drug free, safe, free of guy, anime happy..... lives.....

and now i d i e . . . .