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It will be two weeks ago tomorrow that my cat Phil was hit. Who could be so cruel? And he was facing the house, like he was trying to get back home... It really broke my heart, because he was such a sweet cat. I'm really grateful to the white explorer that was passing that night as we were getting the bags in. It stopped a few feet away from him, then went around. A few days after it happened, I could have sworn Lil was just as upset as I was. I felt like she was moping, as much as a cat can mope. She just wasn't her spunky self.

So tearing down the only house we have ever known is back on. They want to give us a tiny house, with all the 'modern' conveniences. I don't want that. I don't care if the roof leaks and there are holes in the floor. If my mother had down what she was supposed to with the FEMA money more than ten years ago, if my uncle had done his job right ten years ago when he was supposed to fix some things, heck even if my dad had used the right kind of material way before that in places where water would wear down the wood, we wouldn't be in this position.

I don't want to lose the beautiful, unique house with the hallway light, towel closet, and china cabinet built in. The ceilings with swirls in the plaster, the doors that can be opened with a skeleton key. The closet in my mom's room that is under the stairway, that we used to love to poke around in. No, I'm not happy.

Hate is a strong word. Maybe 'loathe' would be better. But my eldest sister Christian really makes me feel that way. I feel like she worked on my parents to get things this way. She even thinks she's getting her own room. She just now got a job, after being unemployed for about 3 years. She throws things in the basket and only sometimes asks you outright to pay for them, and even then, she still skims money off of anyone too trusting. Her attitude is self righteous, though she is quick to accuse anyone else of that to shut them up. I just don't know how to handle her. God please give me the strength.