I considered posting this in the “What are you thinking” thread in the Word Game forum. I figured this isn’t the sort of thing to share in such a place though.
I had a dream last night about a classmate of mine.
The two of us may have been friends in preschool, but we mostly left each other alone through elementary and high school. By happenstance, we actually met each other in another city in another state several years after, but we had different lives and didn’t have a lot of time to spend together.
… Thinking about all this, I can’t help but wonder what my life would be like if I took a different path, if I had the courage to pursue a closer friendship, a relationship. I think we could have gotten along well enough. … because, really, there is just a certain kind of bond you have with school classmates: you grew up with them, so you know them in some special way more than somebody they met in adulthood could.
This dream I had about my friend — it felt calming. It was as though we could just chill together, watch TV together, read books together… having a simply peaceful marriage….
My god…. All these thoughts of could’ve, would’ve, should’ve … I woke up feeling like I had made some really lousy life choices.