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I needed to write it down. Yesterday one of our finches, Beatrice, died. I'd prefer not to speak of it too much, but I wanted her to have her own space for rememberance, along with my dearly departed betta Cedric, who I believe I neglected to write about here too. We knew Beatrice was sick, she hadn't been well at all and the vet said she was critical. We kept thinking positive and telling her it would be okay. Why am I always wrong when I say that? It's like a curse. And I have a strange habit, whenever I fear for the life of one of my pets, sometimes even people, I sing the Sunshine song for them (the little kid song you are my sunshine), to them if they can hear me, or I hum it. I'm not even sure why, but it seems right. And, before, she was... gone, I told her I loved her about a thousand times, so she knew. With Cedric I think I only told him once, I didn't know that he was not going to be better... not at all. But that was very sad too, because I remember about three of my friends helping me through my Cedric crisis at school, it was during my rough patch when I had enough troubles already and the one being who knew everything, who I could tell everything, died. And I missed him terribly. I think I knew when she was gone too, but I convinced myself I was wrong, I'd wake up and she'd be okay, she'd be... okay... cry But I was wrong.... I was very wrong.... And I'm going to miss her... we did have to go get another bird though, because Beatrice's mate missed her so much. His lamenting cries tore at all of us, he didn't understand and he missed her.... So, the new one doesn't have a name, but I've been calling her Peanutbutter and Winnie. So here to be immortally preserved are the memories of Cedric P. Fish, and Beatrice Bonnie M., may their memory never die in those who knew them. crying cry cry cry I miss them....
Bayn Of Existence · Sat Aug 05, 2006 @ 11:10pm · 2 Comments |
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