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confusion, fear, misinterpretation

i think i've finally figured out why it's difficult for me to keep a daily journal, which is that my day to day life is pretty much identical every single day. i lay in bed, scroll my socials, maybe do a little translation work, and play video games. it is woefully understimulating and i just really don't have much to talk about in a journal because of it.

i feel like this also reflects onto myself a certain amount, in that living an understimulating life leaves a person also understimulating. i want to be an interesting and enjoyable person, so i need to figure out how to make my life interesting and enjoyable too. it's not that i dislike my life or anything, but it's fairly mediocre without any particular standout aspects (in my opinion, at least) so i need to work on figuring out what to do about that.

i think the first thing i need to do is stop being a weenie and try to go to the card shop again, it's been months. i'm braver than this. come on! come on! you got it! you got this!