Well, today was odd...
We went to the mall and I met up with Cessna and Brittany. Then Vince-Vince got off of work, but I was playing around and he took it the wrong way. v.v *sigh*
So... I think he was angry at me for that..
In the car and all night(I'm spending the night at Cessna's house) Cess and Britt have been really quiet. I think they're both mad at me... So I feel like crap for it...
It was raining earlier when we came back from the mall.
About an hour ago I went outside and talked with Vince because he was upset over something that happened with one of our friends. He went back inside but I stayed out for a while. I went behind Cessna's property and just watched the star-less sky. Thinking about the band around my right wrist that says "Strong- Mind Body & Spirit". All I could think about when I was standing there is how I'm so unworthy of what I have.
Everything is so beyond me. For instance.. I'm so useless in that I can't make my friends or family happy or even comfortable around me. I think I may have somehow hurt Cessna... I want to make up something to her, but first I have to figure out what I did wrong, so I can know how to make things right. She's my best friend, and I don't want to lose her just because of some stupid little thing. I want us to be our goofy selves for as long as possible. Cessna is a really nice and sweet person. She has a temper when people call her short, but everyone always laughs and apologizes.
While I was outside it had stopped raining, but there was water everywhere. I walked back behind Cessna's house and around the woods a little. Then I slowly walked down her long driveway, down a few streets and started yelling and cursing at myself. I just felt that whatever it is I had done to my friends, needed punnishment. So I did what I had to.
When I got back I was soaked with water, mud, grass, and oil on the bottoms of my bare feet. I held my arms in attempt to stop my completely shivering body.
I got out some of Cessna's clothes and changed into them then threw my wet clothes into the dryer. (which reminds me that they're probabally done by now)
I went back into Cessna's room and she started glaring at me and asked me only once where Vince and I had been... I don't know where Vince had gone off to. I just had needed some time to myself..then to come back and my best friend seems to be furious at me.. didn't make things any better....
Anyway.. I'd 'prolly get to bed now. It's like 1:15AM. sweatdrop
So, until we meet again.
My wandering heart sits in the moonlight of this cold winter night.
~Kira
 -Kira-Kohanamaru- · Mon Jan 03, 2005 @ 07:25am · 1 Comments |
There is no life without love