Hello every one, my name is Lauren. I have two nicknames: Lulu and sneaky weasel. I don't really know what to put here but here goes nothing...
My name is Lauren and im currently in the 11th grade at CM. I have shoulder length blonde hair and brown eyes. i am 5 foot 10, with a rather large chest. personality wise, im very secluded, I prefer to spend my time alone, and i am emo. I was adopted at birth by my mom and dad. (the parents i live with now. my real father died when i was around 7 years old i lived in a place called bay harbor in miami. It was a quit and peaceful area filled with old people. i Went to st Joseph's for 2 years before i entered Ruth K Broad. I went there for 6 years. i spent most of my time with my animals and my friends. but then everything changed when my dad sold our house. We then moved to hallandale. the house was very nice but it was hard leaving the place i had lived in my whole life. Once we moved i attended St marks. theses were about the worst 2-3 years of my life. Since i was new i was treated really badly and i only had one friend: alison. well alison seemed to be a nice person but everything she told me had been a lie. She even convinced me to run away from home. however i was caught and ever since then i've been a different person. To begin with i have 2 forms of a 'disease' i have anxiety and depression. both inherited from my birth mother. As the rest of my life went on these disease got worse and worse. my father ,i guess you could call it, 'abused' me. and my mother never gave me the love i wanted. this and my depression drove me to do very stupid things. still in the 8th grade i began cutting myself. It was great, i have to admit im addicted to it. however it got worse and worse yet. i began to detest life and the thought of living, and sometimes i still do, and that when the thought occurred. Suicide. i've heard about it and all but never truly understood the details, however i was determined to end all my pain. by then the cutting didn't even effect me anymore. the pain was joyous to me and the sight of blood thrilling but it no longer gave me the release i yearned for. so i attempted suicide. obviously it dint work but it made me think about all the things i was going to miss out on and made me regain my want for life. the method, Antifreeze. it should have killed me and to this day i wonder why it didn't. the night i did it though was very strange. i had written all my good bye letters and read revelations in the bible. and layed down and waited for death to take me. i eventually drifted to sleep nd then i woke with a start. i had to pee. i moved to get out of bed but my body wasn't working. i could move right and barley had control. i have to say that was one of the scariest moments in my life. thinking about how im was about to die. i don't remember what happened after that but i woke up the next morning. i was disappointed but needless to say i was some what grateful. Life continued it had its up nd downs...mainly downs but i seemed to be ok. i still continued cutting and all but only when i was sad or upset. i don't know what brought on my other 2 attempts at suicide but they were OD's. Aspirin to be precise. they didn't work either but man did they make me sick. i met my closest friend in the 9th grade her name was melissa. i love her with all my heart and soul. i have never mentioned this to anyone, not even her so im really going out on a limb here but no one will read up to here anyway so why not. she made me question my sexuality. she made me wonder wether girls or guys were better. i have to admit i find some women to be very appealing and i do have some sexual thoughts about them but i don't consider my self gay. im strait i love men but my mind lingers on the thought of women. anywway i have never been truly in love. my other close friends i met in middle school after my incident with alison. Vanessa,Casey and Zara. they have always been there for me and i love them dearly. My other friend i have known almost my entire life. we had so much in common but we are drifting apart. Jessie and i met in 3k. we have been friends ever since. i love her so much and i dont know what i would do with out her or any of my other friends. Well my emoness continues but i have come to value life a bit more. and my parents have gotten better and show me that they care. sure the annoy the hell out of me sometimes but i still love them. My sister stephanie is awesome. she has her moment when i feel like killing her but she is in all a great sister. she is the humor in our family. i have a strong interest in anime, you could say i love it. i adore reading. when i read it takes me to the place or setting in the book. it draws me into it and makes me forget everything else. reading is my escape root from the world. i really like to sleep it does the same thing as reading does. at the moment i have some interest in some guys but not to big. im still a virgin but i don't have a hymen. it broke or 'popped' when i was younger. long story short...jetskii + bigwave=fall and that lead to my injury. i don't plan on having sex till im older but the thoughts of it are there. i've never been kissed and i don't really want to be. i enjoy my innocence. i have had many pets in my life and at the moment i have 6. 4 cats, 1 bird, 1 rabbit, and 1 fish. one of the cats belong to my uncle so in reality we have 7 but own 6. my favorite colors are pink and black. i write stories and poems. i listen to ROCK! however i love musicals, like moulin rouge or high school musical, phantom of the opera, les misreables, wicked etc...i hope to be on broadway some day but thats just a dream. i also want to be a vet. i don't like dancing...unless im sure no ones watching. thats really all i have to say about me...i cant really think of anything else. so ill end it there...thanks for reading XD
Oracles-0f-Art Community Member 
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