It's so late it's the next day... wow. Anyway..
Today had started out fun-ish. As usual.
Lan's my new adoptive little brother! I never had any siblings before, so this should be nice.
Axel, Roxas and I had the time of our lives using the word "connect" to mess with people.
Minx got another heart attack. Although a couple people got to understanding our intentions it was.. simply hilarious. Larxene and Demyx were thoroughly disturbed by what we did. I can safely say it was fantastic. We got Kairi to kinda sorta join in.
I'm gunna "convince" Rufus to hire Minx into Shinra. Why she wants to work for those guys I have no idea. But I figured I'd try. I think I'll succeed, but I might have to do a few things I otherwise never would! At least not with Rufus.
Axel had another Crayon fit. Course Larxene stole a couple crayons and broke one. Making him cry. I gave him my own stash of glitter crayons to calm him down.
Axel crying is... awkward. And weird. Yet oddly adorable, like a sad puppy. But I couldn't stand seeing him cry like that. It was too sad!
I went out for a walk earlier since I was bored. But then I got attacked once I got far out! Furikai was there. And acting really odd! Plus he had a whole bunch of heartless with him! Two really big ones and ...probably like 50 smaller ones. I had to fight them all! There was no time to run back and warn anyone, plus they caught me off gaurd. I didn't have any materia on me so I just had my conformer and other weapons.
I got really badly hurt, but I managed to beat all the heartless. Furikai ran off... so not like him. I think either someone's controling him, or it wasn't really him.
I don't plan on telling Sora about this. He doesn't need to worry more than he already does. Plus I was able to take care of it myself. I just need to be more on my gaurd from now on.
The weirdest thing though... Something happened sometime during that fight and now my left hand is starting to turn black! And it's getting harder and harder to use my hand as the blackness spreads. I had to tie my conformer to my hand just to keep my grip on it! I'm going to show it to Cid and Aerith and see if there's anything they can do about it.
I did manage to hide it from the others..... only Axel saw.
It's funny really. It can be really hard to tell what kind of relationship we have. Sometimes we're close and having lots of fun and laughs like we did faking everyone out with our "connecting" thing... sometimes we're teasing each other relentlessly... other times we just don't bother with each other or he makes me mad so I ignore him.
But whenever he sees me hurt... he tries to do something about it. He really shows he's concerned. Even if he has a hard time saying it or showing it, I can tell.
I'm glad. It warms my heart to know he really does care about me.
Especially when he promised he'd never give me that look that always hurts me. Even when he turns back into Reno. I don't know how well he can hold to that once he turns back into Reno... But just him saying that, when he held my hand. It made me really happy despite how awful I was feeling.
Sora gave me a look like that.. so did Roxas. Anger and disappointment... betrayal... I hate it when those looks are aimed at me. I've gotten those looks so many times I don't care to remember. It hurts every time I have to do something bad...
In this case, I took the fall for Roxas. He'd gotten mad at Sora for ignoring him and not having faith in him and taking him to fight the heartless ships too. So he stole one of the gummi blocks.
When I saw that they were going to get into another fight, I had gotten close to Roxas and managed to pick the gummi block off him without being noticed. So when they got into fighting stances, I got up and gave the block back to Sora. Saying I had been the one to take it. ...The looks they both gave me felt terrible.
I know I ruined what Roxas was trying to do, but the time wasn't right. Heartless were comming and Sora wouldn't be in any place of mind to listen. If he ever really does anyway. He's so stubborn. But then again so is Roxas.
I told Sora the truth after the fight. But that just led Roxas and him into another serious fight! And now... I don't know. Roxas might be leaving and not comming back. Some guy showed up to answer Sora's questions for him... So.. Maybe Sora won't be comming back At least for a while.
I feel... just awful. Like I caused the rift that was forming to go from being a ditch to being a canyon! Or even two different planets!
Axel says they'll forgive me... but I don't know. I really hope they do.
Kairi did talk to Roxas before he left. But it was like sh was shifting between herself and Namine when I looked. I don't know what they talked about... But I saw them kiss! And Roxas kinda sorta smiled.
Maybe she was able to make things not so bad. Kairi's great like that. She can make things better when they're really bad.
Well... It's already the early morning hours. The sun's gunna come up soon and I've already been awake this long! I'll make sure to show Cid and Aerith my hand and get some sleep before I have to go back to the Ask Sora building.
I have that Dating Game thing going on today. I'm not that thrilled.. And I don't think my hand's condition will be any good for it. Maybe I can get Cid to make some electronic nueral gloves for me that allow me to use my hand normally if they can't find a cure for it right away.
Oh gawd.. I just realized... I can't feel anything with my blackened fingers. Now they don't move when I want them to, have random tremors, and I can't feel with them! Great... Just great.
...AND I just realized other people read this thing sometimes!! Aw geez..
Okay. To whoever reads this: Do NOT say anything about what I've written here! It's under control so don't worry about me and do NOT tell anyone about it! I don't want anyone freaking out and worrying over nothing. Please...?
a petite ninja · Sun Nov 19, 2006 @ 12:02pm · 3 Comments |