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Choose your words, Choose them wise, For they will lead to your Demise
Forget journal. This is my Poetry Collection (the good AND the bad), The cliched, the original, and the just plain ME....
They are in no particular order, so try if you can to compare my older to newer... definitely a different style as I grow...
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Faerius Elvenus Holidaeus |
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Faerius Elvenus Holidaeus Excerpt from "The Encyclopedia of Fantastical Creatures, Vol. II"
Elves General Description: Long, lithe creatures, with large, pointed ears, great agility, eternal youth, immunity, and endless wisdom
Sub-Species: Faerius Elvenus Holidaeus Common Name: Christmas Elf
Though classified as elves, many fantologists dispute the categorization. The Christmas elf lacks the extreme height of the other elven species (and in many cases, are dwarves' heights), and its speed is considerably less than that of a typical elven genre, only five times as fast as a human. Another questionable trait in the Christmas elf is their immunity and immortality. Though there are no recorded illness-related deaths, it has yet to be proven that they have the typical immunity to viruses, flus, colds, plagues, etc. To other elves, the Faerius Elvenus Holidaeus group is the "black sheep" of the Faerius Elvenus genus.
Background:
The Faerius Elvenus Holidaeus earned their common name, "Christmas elves" due to their stereotypical line of work. While some (a very small minority) do go on to become stealth ninjas, technology and communications experts, and dentists, the vast majority end up the same as their parents: working for big-time holiday business monopolist, Saint Nicholas Claus, nicknamed Santa Claus by his many fans. According to newly discovered diaries and journals, however, "Jolly Old Saint Nick" is lacking in the "jolly" department when it comes down to business. The Faerius Elvenus Holidaeus are stuck in the same feudal system that doomed the peasants in early European times and the African slaves in the United States of America from early times to the 1800's. The elves have become slaves to Mr. Claus. The Head Elves (see FAERIUS ELVENUS SUPERHOLIDAEUS) stand on the platforms with cruel motivation for the workers. Punishments include the classic corporal punishment of flogging and other bodily abuse, as well as severe and unheard-of punishments of the mind: endless choruses of Jingle Bells and other Christmas carols, boiling hot cocoa that's too hot to drink (with no milk provided), a ridiculous work uniform (pointed green caps and curled-toe shoes, everything garnished with bells), and piles of coal for their beds. When visitors tour the factory, the elves are forced to sing along with the carols, faking high pitched squealing voices and pinched pink cheeks- the epitome of "cuteness".
In the week prior to Christmas Eve, the elves are forced to work day and night, getting no sleep and allowed only to eat the paint they use for the toys, and for drink, the scalding marshmallowless hot chocolate.
In 1947, however, Saint Nicholas's exploitation of the elves was brought to the attention of a little girl in New York, and, after a series of court appearances, the elves were finally given overtime pay, vacation days, sick days, and most importantly, civil treatment.
It is said Santa now goes under a new pseudonym to avoid further punishment, as in 1972 he was brought to court again by Rudolph for animal abuse.
Should anyone catch sight of a Mr. Kris Kringle, please call 1-800-HOLIDAY immediately to report the criminal.
The Love Mutt · Mon Dec 18, 2006 @ 06:12pm · 0 Comments |
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